The Labour Pain Misdirection
by xxchompchompchompxx
Summary: Even though Penny hates her job, she's desperate to keep it. So when her boss threatens to fire her, she comes up with an excuse for staying employed: She's pregnant. Trouble is, Penny isn't expecting and the supposed father? Well, poor unsuspecting Sheldon...
1. Chapter 1

_BRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING, BRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING, BRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING _

Penny groaned as her alarm clock woke her up at 7.30am. It was way too early to get up for work. She yawned and felt her eyes begin to close but she forced herself to get up as she couldn't be late for work again. Her car had finally conked out a few months ago and until she had the funds, she had to make do with taking the bus to work as no one else would take her across town to the office. She had quit working for the cheesecake factory six months ago after management had changed and cut the staff's wages in half. Instead, Penny now worked as a receptionist at a small lawyers firm and she couldn't decide which job had been worse: working for next to nothing at the cheesecake factory where she would regularly get touched up by customers or at Burkett and Sons Law firm where, although her wage was much, much higher, she was treated like she was stupid or she didn't know what she was doing half the time. It didn't help that her boss was also freakishly into his cat and liked to make her look after it.

Penny ran to get the bus and unfortunately found that she had to wait 15 minutes as it was late. That would surely mean that she would be late to work again and that couldn't be good… she was already riding on a thin ice so hopefully it wouldn't crack today. Finally the bus arrived and Penny sighed in annoyance when she realised that it was full of people, luckily however she did manage to spot one seat vacant as a passenger got off. As she turned to sit down, a pregnant lady boarded the bus and Penny sighed, realising that she it would only be right for her to give up her seat for the pregnant lady. It was just typical! The woman muttered a quiet word of thanks before sitting down. Penny held onto the railing and just let her blonde hair cascade in front of her face. Bloody pregnant women… Sheldon was right. Babies should be grown in test tubes. When she finally got off the bus Penny ran as quickly as she could to the firm before dashing into her boss's office with a cup of coffee from Starbuck.

'You're late,' her boss said, picking up his cat "Mrs Jarvis" and staring down at her, '4 minutes after 9, Penny. We agreed to 8.59.'

'I know and I'm sorry Mr Burkett but the bus was really late. I got you your coffee though!'

'Too late, Ned already got it for me.' Burkett said, looking at the keen nerdy intern sitting to his left. Penny looked at Ned and rolled her eyes. He was the typical suck up and she was pretty sure he was trying to get her job. 'Now Penny, I found two errors in your transcriptions of my last meeting. A spelling mistake and a missing hyphen… it's unacceptable.'

'Are you sure because I double checked with the oxford dictionary,' Penny said with despair and to her annoyance, Ned got up and pushed the bridge of his glasses further back on his nose.

'You should always cross reference with the military dictionary because it's the definitive source.'

'Exactly. Now Penny, the intern shouldn't be doing a more thorough job than you.'

'You're right, I'm sorry I didn't give enough thought to a missing hyphen,' Penny said, trying to keep Burkett happy. The last thing she wanted to do was piss him off otherwise she was pretty sure she was going to lose her job.

'Well think of it next time, there are probably a million other girls that would kill for your job Penny.'

'Yeah Penny, personal receptionist to the head of the firm is a dream for… for so many of us,' Ned added before walking out so just Penny rolled her eyes. She'd save her crass remark for him later.

'No worries though Penny, I have a wonderful job for you to do and I'm sure you'll ace this seeing as you are well practiced at it,' Burkett grinned and Penny inwardly groaned, praying it was nothing to do with Mrs Jarvis, 'Mrs Jarvis needs her bath, she's starting to smell a bit like a cat and we can't have that.'

'But she is a cat… ok yeah sure, I'll do it.' Penny said, quickly correcting herself after receiving daggers from Burkett. She then found herself holding the tabby in her arms before she turned around and left his office. She leant down and smelt the cat… she still smelt fresh from the time she had last washed Mrs Jarvis, which was two days ago, 'My ass you smell like cat.' Penny growled before entering the women's bathroom and filling up the sink with water and soap, 'Come on Mrs Jarvis, time to have your bath so pleeeeease don't put up a fight you mangy cat.' Penny picked up Mrs Jarvis and popped her in the sink. The cat hissed slightly before finally accepting that she was having a bath.

Halfway through bathing Mrs Jarvis, Penny's friend Anna entered the bathroom. Penny had found a kindred spirit in Anna. They both were receptionists and disliked their job, they were both into fashion, and both young and blonde. 'He's making you wash that darn cat again?' Anna asked, opening the bathroom window and lighting up a cigarette.

'Unfortunately.' Penny sighed.

'I don't get it, why doesn't he make that stupid Ned guy do it or why don't you just quit?' Anna asked and Penny sighed.

'Because… this job pays really well and I need the money. I'm saving up for a new car so as soon as I get one I'll start looking for a new job and Ned? Well his head is so far up Burkett's ass that I'm just glad I'm not washing the shit off of his scrawny little head. Why haven't you left yet?'

'I'm still screwing James, and well sleeping with your boss has its perks.' Anna said flippantly, taking a drag out of her cigarette.

'You're still sleeping with him?'

'Yeah, you should try it. Being a man's mistress is a satisfying job. You get sex on a regular basis, they give you gifts and hiding it from their wives makes it sneaky and exciting,' Anna laughed and Penny shook her head, shuddering.

'Babe, I think you're forgetting who my boss is.'

'Oh God, yeah my bad.' Anna grimaced.

'I cannot wait to get out of here. As soon as I have my car or I get a really good acting job this job is gone!' Penny laughed, towel drying Mrs Jarvis. Penny set down the cat and walked over to Anna, taking the cigarette off of her and taking a drag for herself. Penny wasn't usually one to smoke but when she had stressful days like today, the occasional drag helped. 'I swear this job is going to be the death of me if I don't leave soon.'

Anna frowned as she saw Mrs Jarvis starting to eat something on the surface, 'What that evil cat eating now?'

'Huh?' Penny turned to look at Mrs Jarvis and let out a shriek, 'No! Mrs Jarvis that's soap you can't eat that!' Anna began to laugh at her and took a final drag of the cigarette.

'Burkett is gonna kill you if he finds out you let his precious cat eat soap.'

'Not helping Anna! He won't find out, Mrs Jarvis is a cat… it's not like she can talk.' Penny said, sighing. She then took Mrs Jarvis back to Burkett's office. 'One cat all cleaned and smelling fresh and non-cat like.'

'Oh Mrs Jarvis, you smell so beautiful, look at you, you are so…' Burkett stopped short when Mrs Jarvis was sick all over his suit. Unfortunately for Penny, the sick was pink and bubbly and in her own way the stupid cat had managed to rat her out. 'What did you feed her?'

'Um, she may have eaten a bar of soap whilst I was distracted for a minute.'

'You let her eat soap!' Burkett yelled, 'Right, well I'm going to have to book her in for a full body scan on Monday and you shall have the honour of taking her.'

'But Monday is my day off… I have plans!' Penny cried.

'Not anymore you don't. You're taking Mrs Jarvis for her scan.'

'But Mr Burkett, Ronald… please. I'll take her first thing on Tuesday!'

'Are you answering back to me?'

'What no?'

'You probably think I'm probably a cat crazed loon… well I'm not. Mrs Jarvis is family and we look out for each other.'

'I never said you didn't.'

'Do you know what I think? I think that you think a blonde beauty like yourself shouldn't be washing cats as part of her job. That thought must have surely crossed your mind.'

'Well maybe once or twice.'

'Well you're wrong! You are my receptionist and you do what I tell you. If I want Mrs Jarvis to have a bath, you will do it for me! If I want her to go for a full body scan because you practically poisoned her, you're going to take her.'

'Oh please… you practically love that cat more than a human being. I mean you'd probably date it if you could though she's probably repulsed by your breath which, by the way, is utterly putrid today.' Penny snapped before smacking her hands over her mouth in shock.

'You have some pretty strong opinions about me Penny.'

'Mr Burkett, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean any of it!'

'If you dislike me so much and you can't stand your job, I'm not sure if it's a good idea if you continue working for me.'

Penny gasped and shook her head. No, she couldn't lose her job! It was so difficult to get a job nowadays and she was lucky to even have escaped her waitressing job. Oh and then Sheldon would have a field trip ripping into her about her carelessness over her job. 'Please you can't do this… I need this job!'

'Watch me.' Burkett smirked, 'You're fired.'

'No, you can't fire me!'

'You're fired.' He repeated.

'You can't… I'm…' Penny racked her brain trying to remember anything she could about that time when she dated that law student at college. Then it clicked…. 'I'm pregnant!'

'Pregnant?' Burkett asked, his brow furrowing.

'Yes, I'm totally pregnant… you know like Mary when she gave birth to Jesus or when y'know when Kate Middleton gave birth to Prince George.' Penny lied, her heart racing, 'The doctor told me that pregnancy can totally mess up my hormones and stuff cause it releases all these weird chemicals into my body and that's what's messing me up and making all this totally untrue stuff coming out my mouth!'

'Pregnant? I wasn't aware you even had a boyfriend.'

'Oh yeah, I totally do. We've been going out for three years now.' Penny said. What was she getting herself into for Pete's sake! She didn't have a boyfriend at all!

'Really? What's the father's name?'

'Sheldon Cooper.'Penny said with ease before mentally gawking. What the hell? Of all names she could have picked, she picked _Sheldon_! Oh this was not good, this was not good!

'And when are you due?' he asked and Penny swallowed

'Octember… I mean end of October, beginning November.'

'You're almost four months pregnant!' Burkett cried in disbelief, looking up and down her body which Penny was sure could be classed as sexual advancement.

'Yup,' Penny said, not looking into his eyes.

'Well, according to the law, legally, we cannot fire a pregnant woman. So count yourself lucky Penny. Now get back to work.' He spat through gritted teeth. Penny let out a sigh of relief but she couldn't help but wonder what the hell she had just gotten herself into.

**Hey everyone, thanks for taking the time on reading my new story. Would be really nice to know what you think, so shoot me a review. Enjoy the rest of your day! xx**


	2. Chapter 2

'Congratulations!' That's all what Penny heard from various people as she sauntered around the office. Wow, pregnancy news liked to spread like wildfire around this place. 'Everybody, Penny's pregnant!' Anna looked up from her desk in confusion and looked at Penny who shot her a look that desperately called out for help.

'Yeah, I had to tell everyone… I couldn't keep it a secret any longer. Sheldon and I are having a baby!' Penny said to Anna. Anna wiped the smile that was forming off of her face and looked at all her co-workers.

'Well did you tell them the rest of the news?' Anna asked, her eyes twinkling with mischief and Penny felt her stomach drop, 'Sheldon and Penny are engaged!' Penny's jaw dropped and she looked at Anna in disbelief.

'Yeah, I'm er really excited everyone… totally over the moon.' She smiled before walking over to Anna and pulling her into the bathroom. She checked that it was empty before starting their conversation quietly, as so they couldn't be heard through the walls.

'Wow, I totally did not see that one coming. How did you manage to pull something like that off?'

'I dated this guy in college who studied law. He was a total bore but I remember he told me something about not being able to fire women who are pregnant so yeah I just threw that at Burkett. I suppose it could get nasty if you tried to fire someone who's pregnant… all those lawsuits, discrimination accusations. Even Burkett wouldn't want that.' Penny sighed, rubbing her temples, 'Problem now is that I am not pregnant and Sheldon is not the father, nor is he my fiancé. I don't think he is actually capable of romance. Sheldon is Sheldon and I have no idea why his name slipped out of my mouth. It just came out… like word vomit.' Anna chuckled as she lit up another cigarette, 'Anna you smoke way too much.'

'And you don't smoke enough.' Anna quipped.

'I'm "pregnant" now remember… technically I can't smoke.' Penny said, taking the cigarette off of Anna and taking a drag, 'I really need to quit.'

'Babe, please you hardly smoke at all.' Anna laughed.

'I need to find a way to get out of this now,' Penny sighed and Anna thought for a moment.

'Well, you could always say that something happened to it and your relationship with your weird neighbour broke down because of it?' Anna shrugged and Penny contemplated the idea.

'Maybe… ugh I don't know… why did I have to come up with that stupid lie?'

'You were about to get fired, I probably would have said the same. Look, just go along with it for now and we'll figure it out ok?' Anna smiled and Penny nodded.

* * *

_Knock knock knock_

'Penny'

_Knock knock knock_

'Penny'

_Knock knock knock_

'Penny'

It was 5 o clock and she had literally got home from work half an hour ago. At the moment she wasn't quite sure she was in the mood for Sheldon's antics right now but she sighed and opened the door anyway, 'Hi Sheldon, what can I do for you today.'

'I need you to take me shopping.'

'Sheldon, if you hadn't forgotten my car got written off. I can't drive you anywhere.' Penny sighed and Sheldon frowned.

'Fine, then will accompany me by means of walking then? It is a wonderful afternoon and we could both use the exercise and the fresh air.' Sheldon said and Penny sighed.

'Alright, I guess I need to get some stuff too… but we're getting a taxi on the way back,' she then grabbed her coat and headed down the stairs with Sheldon. 'So why didn't you get Leonard to drive you?' she asked, putting her sunglasses on.

'Leonard is busy.'

'What's he doing?'

'He's with a female, probably engaging in coitus.' Sheldon shrugged.

'It's called sex Sheldon, stop calling it coitus.'

'Coitus is a far more civil word to use opposed to the crassness of… sex,' Sheldon shuddered. Penny chuckled, why she had said Sheldon was the father to her imaginary unborn child, she'd never know and after a ten minute walk, she entered the store with Sheldon. Grabbing a trolley, Penny and Sheldon began their trek around the store. Penny began chucking random stuff in that she wanted, whilst Sheldon browsed more frugally.

'I'm just going to the shoe section, I need a sturdy pair of shoes to replace my old ones, I shall be back momentarily,' Sheldon said and Penny nodded.

'Ok,' she said with a sigh, boredom laced in her voice before she continued to browse through some cute clothes hanging on the rack. Clothes shopping always made her feel better, even if it was in a supermarket.

'Hello Penny,' a voice that made her skin crawl came and she turned around, dreading to see the one person who made her job hell.

'Mr Burkett, um what a surprise, what are you doing here?' Penny asked, trying to sound casual whilst praying with all her might that Sheldon would take his time finding the shoes.

'Shopping,' he said, raising an eyebrow suspiciously, 'Mrs Jarvis is sleeping in the car, but really I should be asking what you are doing here. Someone in your condition shouldn't be out shopping; surely your boyfriend should be doing it?'

'Sheldon? Oh he's around here somewhere. I think he went off to find a pair of shoes,' Penny giggled nervously and Burkett opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by Sheldon. Penny scrunched her eyes closed when she realised that her lie could be exposed within a matter of minutes. Sheldon was awful at lying and couldn't keep a secret at all.

'Unbelievable! Absolu-...' he started before noticing Burkett. He blinked a couple of times before turning back to Penny to continue his conversation, 'Can you believe this? They've lost the left shoe to the last pair in my size! Lost it! And do you know what that shop assistant had the nerve to...? He said he'd only charge me half price!' Sheldon cried and Penny rolled her eyes.

'Well, don't buy it then Sheldon,' she said before realising that she had just said his name in front of Burkett.

'Ahh, so this is Sheldon Cooper,' Burkett said, looking at the tall physicist up and down. Sheldon began to feel slightly uncomfortable and looked at Penny.

'Why is this man staring and me and how does he know my name,' Sheldon asked. Penny let out a nervous laugh and latched onto Sheldon's arm to which she received a startled look.

'Sheldon, honey… you know my boss: Mr Ronald Burkett.' Penny smiled and Burkett stuck his hand out for Sheldon to shake. Sheldon looked at it with a grimace and Penny couldn't help but feel mortified, 'Forgive him Mr Burkett, Sheldon isn't really one for shaking hands with people he hasn't met before.'

'Well I for one happen to believe in the kindness of strangers.' Burkett said, shooting Sheldon a dirty look.

'Well I believe in the strangeness of strangers,' Sheldon said, brushing off Burkett. To be honest, Penny wasn't sure if he had even registered that Burkett had given him that look, 'therefore it is highly unsanitary for me to shake your hand.'

'Sheldon, sweetie… why don't we let my boss get on with his shopping and we'll get on with ours.' Penny smiled, trying to sever the conversation. The last thing she wanted was to be penalised more because of Sheldon. Burkett looked at both Penny and Sheldon snootily.

'Remember Penny, Mrs Jarvis needs taking to the vet on Monday for her body scan.' He said before turning to look at Sheldon, 'It was a… new experience meeting you Mr Cooper. I suppose I had best congratulate you and Penny on your upcoming bundle of joy though. Looking at her you wouldn't think she was four months pregnant would you? Good evening.' Burkett said before turning away and continuing his shopping. Sheldon blinked and turned to look at Penny, who was chewing her finger and avoiding his gaze.

'What?' she asked when she finally looked at him.

'Penny, have you told your boss that you are four months pregnant and you conceived this child with my DNA therefore making me the biological father?' Sheldon said seriously, crossing his arms and looking down at her. She nodded, 'Penny! What were you thinking!?'

'He was going to fire me! All because his cat ate a bar of bloody soap!'

'And you didn't think of letting him fire you and then making an appeal due to unfair dismissal?' Sheldon cried. Penny opened her mouth before closing it again.

'No. No I did not,' Penny sighed and rubbed her temples, trying to think, 'Sheldon, will you please just go along with this? Please?'

'Penny, I am astounded that you would ask this of me! Especially since you are not pregnant, what are you going to do when November comes around and you have no baby bump or better yet no baby!'

'I'll think of something but please, just if I have a work function or something… just pretend that you're my fiancé and we're having a baby. Leave the rest to me… please Sheldon,' Penny begged, still not quite believing she was actually _begging_ Sheldon! 'I will buy you that replica of that Lord of the Rings bad guys helmet!'

'You mean Sauron?'

'Yes, that guy, whatever. I know you want it… when I have the money I will buy it for you.'

'Is it possible to get that in writing?' Sheldon asked and Penny let out a huff and gave him a glare.

'Fine, yes.' She growled, 'but if you're going to be my fiancé, you have to be not you, if you know what I mean? They might ask you to kiss me or something.'

'I suppose I can do that. I kissed Amy therefore I can kiss you. The concept is the same.' Sheldon shrugged.

'I still can't believe that Astro place asked her to come work for them out in London.'

'It's called AstraZeneca Penny. And it's a great company for Amy to work for,' Sheldon sighed and Penny rolled her eyes before softening when she read his body language.

'You really miss her don't you?'

'Well she was my girlfriend for three and a half years. We shared a strong connection; it just wasn't strong enough to last over the distance. Besides it would have been too complicated to maintain our understanding of one another. She will find a man out there,' Sheldon said, placing a few oranges into the trolley.

'She is a sucker for British men.' Penny laughed and she laid a hand on Sheldon's forearm, 'There's another person out there for you too Sheldon, don't worry about it.' She smiled and Sheldon just looked at her hand as if it was intruding on his personal space. Penny noticed and sighed, removing it before continuing their shop. When they got to the checkout and were finally paying, Penny couldn't help but curse under her breath when yet again they bumped into Burkett, 'Remember you're my fiancé Sheldon,' she hissed at him.

'Well isn't the world small.' Burkett grinned, his crooked teeth on show.

'Yes, isn't it. Well, um, we can't really stay and chat as we need to get a taxi, so I'll see you bright and early tomorrow Mr Burkett.' Penny said, trying to cut their conversation short.

'Yes… make sure you are in on time tomorrow Penny. I don't want to have to have our conversation on your inept time keeping _again_.' Burkett said, 'Goodbye Penny… Sheldon.' He nodded and Sheldon winked at Penny as Burkett turned and started to walk off.

'I MAKE LOVE TO HER GENITALS WITH GRACE AND VALOUR EVERY NIGHT!' he yelled after Burkett and Penny's jaw dropped, before she smacked her forehead and she looked at him, mortified, only to see a smug smirk on his face, 'Well if that wasn't convincing, I don't know what was.'

**Second chapter done, thanks so much for your reviews on the previous chapter. It was so nice to see some familiar reviewers… I don't think my phone has ever received so many emails in one night. I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as the first and I look forward to reading any reviews I get from you guys. Enjoy the rest of your day! xx**


	3. Chapter 3

'So, have you figured out what you're going to do yet?' Anna asked, pouring some coffee into a cup as she and Penny stood in the staff kitchen. Penny sighed and shook her head; she had been going over and over it last night and she was still no closer as to coming up with a solution for this massive lie she'd got in. Anna frowned and racked her own brain for a solution as she sipped her coffee. Not a moment passed before Ned sauntered in.

'Penny, can I have a word please?'

'Yeah, what do you want?' Penny asked.

'How are you today?' He asked, looking at her and she frowned, feeling slightly uncomfortable.

'I was Ok up until you started staring at me like that, yourself?'

'Oh, I'm fine but um, I'm not the one who's carrying a bundle of joy inside them,' Ned said, laughing slightly as he spoke, 'So er, no morning sickness or bloating?' he asked and Penny could practically see the suspicion floating around him.

'Nope, nothing. I guess I'm one of those lucky women who just don't experience that sort of thing.' Penny said, trying to laugh it off.

'A little too lucky if you ask me… also, Lisa from the Human Resources department is only one month further along in her pregnancy and she's the size of a school bus yet you are over here looking like Kate Moss… that's quite a size difference.'

'I guess our bodies are just different.' Penny shrugged.

'Perhaps it would be easier to feel the bump than it is to see it,' As Ned reached out for Penny's stomach, Anna ran over and slapped his hand away.

'You know Ned, some would class that as sexual harassment.' She said, her voice venomous.

'Hey what the problem, all mothers like people feeling their baby bump.'

'Yeah, but no one likes gross weirdos doing it.'

Ned looked at Anna and Penny and scowled, 'You know what else I find quite interesting? Where is your ring? I can't say I've ever seen you wear it.' Ned said. Penny opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out, so Anna came to her rescue.

'Look Ned, she's not wearing her ring because Sheldon only just proposed to her. She's still got to pick one out. You know Ned, it's not very nice to try and embarrass people so why don't you crawl back up Burkett's ass where you belong?' Anna said and Ned narrowed his eyes at her before turning away. Anna looked at Penny and smiled, 'Don't worry about him hun, he knows jackshit and I'm pretty sure NED IS STILL A VIRGIN!' she yelled at the end. Ned turned around and glared at them and quickly scuttled off. Penny giggled and hugged her friend.

'Oh Anna, I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't met you here.'

'Hey, us blondes have to watch out for one another. Plus you're like my best friend so it comes with the job description, 'Anna laughed before looking at her up and down, 'but seriously, Ned was right about one thing. You're supposedly four months pregnant but you've got the body and abs of a supermodel. I think I may have the solution to this… come on, we're going shopping.' Anna said, setting her cup of coffee back down and dragging Penny out of the office, claiming they were both going for lunch.

Penny soon found herself wondering around around a Maternity Wear store and screwed her nose up at all the ugly maternity outfits. Fashion designers should really start concentrating on maternity wear. It was 2014 now, not the 90s. She looked over at Anna, who was lurking around the mannequins and gawked when she saw her reach under the dress on one of the dummy and take off the detachable stomachs. Anna turned it over, smiled when she saw it said 4 months

'Bingo.' Anna grinned as Penny ran up to her when she had popped it in her handbag.

'What are you doing? You can't take those!' she hissed and Anna rolled her eyes before grabbing some maternity clothes and pulling Penny into the changing room.

'Babe look,' she said, taking the stomach out of the bag, 'if you're gonna make people believe you are pregnant, then you need to start talking to talk and walking the… well waddle. Now take your top off!'

Penny sighed and took off her top and looked down in horror as Anna strapped the bump around her flat stomach. Anna then chucked her the maternity pants and shirt at her and reluctantly, Penny put them on.

'Wow, I must admit this was a good idea. I do actually look pregnant.' Penny said, looking at herself in the mirror.

'Am I a genius or am I a genius?' Anna said, taking out a nail file.

'Ok, I suppose you are a genius,' Penny grinned before looking back at the ugly clothes, 'but these clothes are way too ugly, I'm gonna have to find something slightly more fashionable. The trousers, ugh,' Penny pulled out the elastic waist and gave Anna a look of disgust, 'they're elasticated at the waist. It makes me feel like I'm wearing a fricking condom on my stomach.'

'Trust me hun, when you go out looking like that I can assure you people will think you haven't gone anywhere near a condom. Look, you just have to keep this up for a couple of weeks and then you say you fell down the stairs of your apartment building and unfortunately you lost your baby.'

'God, I think that would be an awful way to lose a baby,' Penny said biting her lip, her stomach knotting just thinking about it.

'Just do it babe,' Anna sighed, 'and you have to train your crazy assed neighbour to act more like a normal fiancé. I mean what guy shouts I make love to your genitals? Seriously… he's a right kook.'

'Yes I know but that kook is my pretend fiancé.'

* * *

Penny sighed as she looked at herself in front of the mirror. She had managed to find some half decent maternity clothes and well here she stood. In her apartment. With a large glass of red wine. Pregnant looking.

_Knock knock knock_

'Penny.'

_Knock knock knock_

'Penny.'

_Knock knock knock_

'Penny.'

Penny sighed and went to open the door. 'Hey,' she said and Sheldon blinked, taking in her appearance.

'I suppose this was what you were referring to in your text message.' Sheldon said, raising an eyebrow. Penny sighed and nodded, pulling him into her apartment.

'Well this is what I'm gonna look like for the next couple of weeks. I've called everyone informing them of what's going on and they've agreed to keep up the act for me. I'm gonna be so broke at the end of this after I've bought you guys all your stuff,' Penny sighed, running her hands through her hair, 'Leonard wasn't too happy, he thought he'd make a better candidate since we had gone out before but I told him that it would be weird for his new girlfriend.' Sheldon tilted his head to the side and looked at her with more interest this time.

'You look nice pregnant,' he said and Penny stopped speaking and looked at him incredulously.

'What?'

'I said you look nice pregnant. It suits you.' Sheldon repeated. Penny shook her head in disbelief and decided to ignore it, 'Anyway, I took the liberty of choosing an engagement ring for you.' He added, pulling out a large diamond ring.

'Sheldon, it's… beautiful,' Penny whispered, slipping it on her ring finger, 'it must have cost a lot!'

'It was my meemaw's. You can borrow it for now.' Sheldon shrugged. Penny smiled and looked at her quirky neighbour.

'You're a great friend Sheldon, truly you are,' she smiled, pulling him in for a hug. Sheldon awkwardly stood there before rolling his eyes and gently patting her back.

'There, there.'

'Shut up Sheldon, now since we're in private… may I have a talk with you?' Penny asked, sitting down.

'Ok, just as long as it's not about tampons because I really cannot make heads or tails of them.' Sheldon said. Penny blinked at him in shock and struggled to find the right words.

'Um no, we won't be talking about tampons.' She said and Sheldon let out a sigh of relief.

'Thank God for that.'

'I just wanted to say that you're going to be acting as my fiancé so I've composed a list of things you need to know because I know you like to have backstories to stuff like this.'

'A logical thought Penny.'

'Now, I've also included some quite personal stuff in there that might benefit you incase someone should, god forbid, ever ask you about.' Penny sighed and Sheldon nodded.

'I shall start learning this then, though I am still not entirely happy about this situation. I'm only in it of my Sauron armoury,' Sheldon sighed, flicking through the list, 'Is that everything?'

'I think so,' Penny smile and Sheldon nodded.

'Alright,' he said before noticing that Star Trek: Enterprise had just started on Penny's television. He sighed and looked at the screen, 'I need Scott Bakula's autograph.'

'Huh?'

'I have every star trek captain of the star ship Enterprise's autograph except for Scott Bakula's. Even though that series was, to me, a total flop, he still captained the Enterprise and therefore it's necessary for me to get it.'

'Well why don't you? Isn't there a Star Trek Convention coming up soon?'

'Yes, wow Penny… I'm surprised you even know of that.'

'Well I've known you nerds for 6 years now, it helps to know the dates you are all out so I can hold some parties.' Penny shrugged, 'So why don't you go to that?'

'Whilst I admit that all the Enterprise Captains will be making an appearance there, I unfortunately cannot attend it.'

'Why not?'

'William Shatner's restraining order against me is still in effect. It's so stupid, it wasn't even a _real_ phaser!'

Penny couldn't help but chuckled, 'Oh Sheldon, there are times you can still baffle me.'

'Well I don't intend to if that is what you are implying.' Sheldon said, frowning.

'Oh no, not at all… anyway I'd best start cracking on with my dinner.'

'I shall take my leave of you then.'

'Alright oh and Sheldon… please don't yell at my boss that you make love to my genitals because it's just disturbing.'

'Got it, not yelling about making love to your genitals... what if I said I gratify you sexually every night, sometimes twice due to your high libido and sexual appetite.'

'No Sheldon!'

'Why not? If I say that, it might lure in a few males for you to fornicate with.'

Penny rolled her eyes and just ignored him as he left. Sheldon was a hopeless cause.

**Thanks for all your lovely reviews everyone, I love to hear what you think! Keep them coming, they really motivate me to write a good story for you! I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I hope you enjoy your day! xx **


	4. Chapter 4

Penny woke up on Monday morning and groaned when she realised that she had to take Mrs Jarvis to the vet today. She got up and took a long warm shower, trying to wash away all the anxiousness of going out for the first time with this fake stomach. Sighing, she turned the water off and got out, dried herself and then wrapped a towel around her body before walking into her bedroom. She stopped and stared at the stomach, which was perched on the chair next to her bed. Walking over, she picked it up and put it on before slipping on a yellow chiffon dress. The bump was relatively small and like before, she did look like she was in the early stages of pregnancy. She also then slid the ring Sheldon gave her onto her engagement finger and she couldn't help but feel happy that it was a perfect fit. A small smile made its way onto her face as she looked at herself in the mirror and she placed a hand on the stomach. Sheldon was right, she did look good pregnant… and engaged!

When the clock struck 8am, she knew she had to leave to get the bus to Burkett's house. Curse that stupid cat, why did it have to eat soap and cost her her day off and a lie that was starting to get out of control. She walked down the stairs, trying to get used to the fact that she had something attached to her tummy and when she reached the ground floor; she bumped into Sheldon, who was collecting his mail.

'Good morning Penny.' He said, turning to face her, 'I trust you slept ok.'

'Yeah, it was good… though Burkett's making me take his cat to the vet because she ate that soap a few days ago.'

'Ah yes, I recall you saying,' Sheldon nodded and then he noticed that she was going out in her pregnancy get up for the first time, 'I see you've got the pregnancy bump on… and my meemaw's ring.'

'Yeah, I figured today would be a good day to start. I've been wearing baggy clothes for the past couple of days so yeah… well I'd best get going.' Penny said.

'Alright, I'll see you later for thai food yes?'

'Yeah I guess so, I'll see you later,' Penny smiled before waving and walking to the bus stop. When she got on the bus, she sighed when she realised there were no vacant seats. Walking over to the rail, she was surprised when a young man got up for her.

'Here miss, please take my seat.' He smiled and she looked at him in shock.

'Hey, you don't have to give your seat up for me,' she said. He shook his head and smiled at her.

'Nonsense, a pregnant lady like you shouldn't be standing on her feet on a bus. Please, take this seat, I insist. My stop is next anyway.' He chuckled and Penny gratefully took his seat.

'Thank you,' she smiled at him. This guy was cute… date worthy.

'Your fiancé is very lucky to have a girl like you having his baby,' the guy said to her and she blinked, suddenly remembering that she was "engaged" and "pregnant" and that she couldn't fantasize about dating hot guys.

'Yeah, he is.' Penny smiled before looking out the window as the guy moved towards the bus doors.

When it was finally her stop, she got off and began the walk to Burkett's house. Upon her arrival she rang the bell and mentally gagged when Burkett answered the door in nothing but a dressing gown, holding Mrs Jarvis's cage. Thrusting it in her hands, he looked at her… finally noticing her bump.

'So you're bump has finally come in. Make sure you have Mrs Jarvis back by 2pm because we have a meeting to go to. I hope you didn't forget your pen and paper because you're taking the notes for it.'

'But Mr Burkett… I'm not contracted to work Mondays.'

'Well you are today! Just make sure you're back by 2.' Burkett then shut the door in Penny's face and she narrowed her eyes. She was pretty sure it was illegal to make someone work uncontracted hours but Penny did as she was told. She took Mrs Jarvis to the vet, who gave her the all clear before returning to Burkett's house with a pen and paper to take notes from his meeting. The day was long and stressful and Penny was annoyed that she had to work on her day off, especially since she was "pregnant". By 4.30pm she was back at the office and in a bad mood. She sat at her desk typing up the minutes when suddenly Ned walked up to her.

'I see your bump has come in.' he sneered and Penny looked at him, her eyes as sharp as daggers.

'Get to the point you little worm.'

'I know what you're up to and I think it's immoral and deceitful.'

'You know jackshit.'

'I don't think you're pregnant Penny, I think you're just trying to hold onto this job.' Ned smirked, folding his arms. However, the smirk was soon wiped off his face when he realised how badder mood Penny was in as she slowly stood up and began yelling in his face.

'Yeah well prove it you little maggot! How dare you tell me I'm not pregnant! Hello, if I wasn't pregnant I wouldn't have a bump. Now would you kindly piss off back up into Burkett's ass because I don't want to see your shitty little face around my desk for the next 5 months!'

Ned didn't say another word, but quickly walked off, his tail between his legs. Meanwhile Anna popped her head around the corner.

'Babe, what are you doing in today?'

'Burkett forced me in. He made me take his stupid cat to the vet, and by the way, there was NOTHING wrong with her, then he made me take the minutes of his meeting and made me come back to the office to type them up! And it's put me in a really bad mood.'

'Can he even do that?'

'No, but I tell you what, I need a cigarette.' Penny growled, getting up. Anna nodded and accompanied Penny to the bathroom before they each lit up a cigarette, 'I hate him, I truly hate the guy. It's like he's intent on making my life hell. He couldn't fire me, so he's gonna make me quit!'

'Hun, you can't let him do that!'

'Oh he won't win that easily. I can assure you of that. Sooner or later he'll realise he messed with the wrong girl and…'

Suddenly the door banged open to reveal a very ticked off Ronald Burkett. 'My office,' he glared at her, 'NOW.' Penny sighed, chucked her cigarette out of the window and followed Burkett into his office. He sat down in his chair and looked at her, 'I heard what you said about me.'

'It's not nice to eavesdrop Mr Burkett,' Penny said narrowing her eyes and sitting down.

'You really dislike me don't you,' Burkett growled.

'When if you make me give up my day off to look after your cat and take minutes for your meeting when really that's the intern's job then hell yeah! Oh wait, you already did those things… I'm pregnant if you hadn't noticed... I'm supposed to take it easy… not trekking across town to make sure your fucking cat is OK!' Penny yelled, 'I'm going home. And I'm not coming in tomorrow because I worked today so yeah, deal with it.'

'Take one more step and you're fired Stevens!' Burkett cried and Penny scoffed.

'Come on Burkett, you know you can't fire me and if you do I'll sue you for discrimination and unfair dismissal!' Burkett looked at Penny with a loss for words. Penny opened the door and stopped, 'Oh I nearly forgot…'

'Nearly forgot what?' Burkett asked suspiciously.

'I very nearly forgot to call you an evil loathesome bastard. I wouldn't treat a sewer rat the way you treat your staff and I! You should take care of your own cat because when I applied for this job, it was not in the fucking job description!'

'I am a busy man Ms Stevens, I cannot look after Mrs Jarvis as well as work. I can only give her love and affection.'

'I'm sorry? What language are you talking in now? It appears to be BOLLOCKS! You're just too lazy to take proper care of Mrs Jarvis. If you can't look after your cat, you shouldn't have it Burkett. Plain as! Now good afternoon. I'll see you on Wednesday!' Penny growled, making to move again but Burkett stopped her.

'I'm going to put your outrageous behaviour down to your pregnancy Penny but if this ever happens again, I will not hesitate to fire you. Let me make that clear now. And perhaps once you've had your baby, it'd be best if you moved on from this establishment.' Burkett growled and Penny rolled her eyes.

'Whatever dude.' She growled and she slammed the door behind her, walking into a hoard of wide eyes that were staring at her. 'What?'

'Burkett left his tannoy on… everyone heard your argument with Burkett. Even the clients.' Anna said and Penny gulped before she realised that her colleagues were now clapping her on the back and thanking her for standing up to Burkett. A little happier, she walked up to Human Resources to send her minutes for printing, when she bumped into Lisa.

'Penny! It's so wonderful to see that you're pregnant too!' Lisa grinned and Penny nodded her head.

'Yeah, well I've gotta shoot. If you could just photocopy these for me it would be great.' Penny said, leaving the minutes on the side.

'Sure thing hun, hey would you like to accompany Paul and me to dinner tonight? Bring your fiancé… we can discuss babies together.' Lisa grinned.

'Sheldon and I would love to join you but…'

'Brilliant! 7 o clock at my house,' Lisa wrote down her address and smiled at Penny, 'I look forward to see you two tonight.'

'Lisa, I don't know if we can come because my fiancé is just weird around people in company.' Penny said and Lisa's face dropped, 'But… I'll try and talk him into it.' Penny added. She hated to disappoint people and it was ten times worse when you upset a pregnant woman.

* * *

'Sheldon!' Penny cried, knocking on the door repeatedly whilst Anna stood next to her, holding Sheldon's suit, which Penny remembered him saying he had sent to the dry cleaners yesterday . A couple of minutes passed before the door opened to reveal Leonard.

'Penny, what are you doing here?'

'Where's Sheldon? I need to speak with him.'

'He's in an online Halo III battle.' Leonard said, 'I wouldn't disturb him.'

'Tough.' Penny growled.

'Nice bump by the way.' Leonard snickered and Penny rolled her eyes, marching over to Sheldon.

'Sheldon!' she cried.

'Can't talk Penny, in the zone.' Sheldon said, whacking the buttons on the controller. Narrowing her eyes, Penny walked over to the socket and unplugged the tv. Sheldon's jaw dropped in horror and outrage and he turned to look at the person responsible.

'What did you just do!' he cried.

'We're going out for dinner. Anna and I got your dry cleaning so here. Put it on… we need to leave in an hour!' Penny said authoritatively. Sheldon glanced between Anna and Penny and he meekly accepted the suit from Anna.

'Why do we have to go out?' he asked.

'Because we have a dinner date and if you want your Sauron armour, you'll come and you'll play the doting father and fiancé.' Penny ordered. Sheldon sighed and nodded before unzipping the dry cleaning bag. His face was priceless and he turned to look at Penny and Anna.

'What's this!' He cried.

'Oh yes, they said they almost got all the red wine out and you wouldn't notice if you didn't look too closely. I personally couldn't see anything.' Penny shrugged and Sheldon shoot his head, removing the casing to reveal a gorilla costume.

'No! This! I mean… it… it isn't my suit!' Sheldon cried and both Penny and Anna bit back their laughter. Penny tried to compose herself before she spoke.

'Isn't it?'

'Of course it isn't! Where in the name of sanity did it come from?'

'Oh don't tell me they mixed up the tickets again!' Anna laughed and Sheldon looked at her incredulously.

'Mixed up the… You must have seen it as a mistake when you brought it out!'

'Well I didn't know what your suit looks like.' Anna said, crossing her arms and Penny nodded in agreement.

'And, they're all packaged in the same clothes protector.' She added and Sheldon frowned.

'Well I can tell you both that it doesn't bloody well look like this! I mean where do you think I shop? King Kong at J C Penny's!' he cried, almost in hysterics and both women, along with Leonard, found it difficult to contain their laughter any longer.

'Sheldon, look mistakes happen. We'll go back tomorrow and get your suit… just put something casual on for now.' Penny giggled. He narrowed her eyes and sauntered off to his room. After he had gone, the fits of laughter erupted and Penny knew that her bad mood had passed. Sheldon, once again, had managed to put her in a good mood. Perhaps it was a good thing that she had said he was the father after all.

**Thanks for all the amazing reviews so far! I'm glad you like it, you guys are truly amazing. Hopefully you enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it so shoot me a review and I'll be really grateful and can start writing the next chapter! Enjoy the rest of your day and let me know what you think! xx**


	5. Chapter 5

'Now, tell me again what you are not to do,' Penny said, standing outside Lisa's house with Sheldon, making sure he was looking presentable and dusting his shoulders. He sighed and looked at her with scepticism.

'Talk about star trek, star wars, game of thrones or anything I enjoy. I am not to talk about physics or make them feel small and insignificant.' Sheldon recited, rolling his eyes and Penny smiled.

'Good, and?'

'And I am to dote on you and gush over our fake relationship.' Sheldon grimaced whilst Penny nodded with satisfaction.

'Good, now we can get through these next couple of hours if we just stick to the plan,' Penny took Sheldon's arm in hers and he bit back a grimace at having to intimately touch Penny, 'right, let's do this.' Penny smiled, ringing the doorbell.

'You know Penny, in a way you're acting. You are giving the performance of your life with this lie of yours.' Sheldon said and Penny shrugged.

'In a way yes, but so are you.' She replied as the door opened, 'Lisa! Hi!'

'Penny welcome to our home! You must be Sheldon,' Lisa smiled, looking at the physicist, 'Please, please come in!' she ushered them both in and to Penny's surprise, Sheldon was behaving himself. He hadn't said anything inappropriate but she had known him long enough to know he was trying with all his might to hold his tongue.

'Good evening, I'm Lisa's husband Paul,' a man said, stepping forward and holding his hand out for Sheldon to shake. Sheldon looked at it, wholly intent on not shaking it but when he felt Penny squeeze him, he reluctantly shook it. Thank goodness he had hand sanitizer in his pocket.

'You're British.' Sheldon observed before Penny poked him again, 'I'm Sheldon, er Penny's… fiancé,' Sheldon added, not happy that Paul was still holding onto his hand and shaking it.

'Yes, born and bred in Hertfordshire. It's so nice to meet you both. Lisa was so glad when she found of that there was another woman pregnant in the company. Now our partners can have all their baby talk together and us men can just sit back a bit,' Paul laughed and Sheldon forced a smile. He already didn't like them. They were far too perfect and happy, it just didn't sit right with him.

'Yes… can I have my hand back now?'

'Haha sorry old chap, totally forgot I was still shaking it.' Paul laughed and Sheldon just raised an eyebrow before Lisa called everyone in for dinner and served out the food.

'So Sheldon, tell us what you do.' Paul said, taking a bite of his wife's cooking.

'I'm a theoretical physicist at Caltech University.' Sheldon said, looking at Paul and Penny was quite shocked that he had stopped there.

'So are you and Penny are engaged I understand,' Lisa smiled, 'Paul and I decided to get married first before we started a family. You guys must be thrilled to be doing it the other way around.'

'Well, I'm not sure "thrilled" is the word. This pregnancy wasn't exactly planned. You never know what you're bringing into the world. I mean, look at the people who started out as babies... Adolf Hitler… Billy Sparks… Joel Schumacker….' Sheldon shrugged. Penny choked on her food as the room went silent and all three pairs of eyes turned to look at him, 'What?'

'Sheldon, you can't say that about our baby!' Penny cried. Even though their "baby" was fake, it still kind of hurt her feelings when he said that.

'But Billy Sparks put dog poop on my bicycle and Joel Schumacker…'

'Yeah, he destroyed Batman! I know! You've already told me!' Penny growled.

'Oh… I'm sensing that what I said was inappropriate,' Sheldon said, 'Am I correct?'

'Deeply inappropriate!' Penny cried before turning to Lisa and Paul, 'I'm sorry you had to hear that.'

'Don't worry about it,' Lisa said, trying to calm the tense atmosphere. 'Did you enjoy the meal at least?' she asked, steering the conversation away from the current topic.

'Yes, it's amazing… thank you,' Penny smiled before kicking Sheldon under the table.

'Owww!' he cried out, 'what did you do that for?'

'What do you mean honey,' Penny said, glaring at him. Sheldon huffed and gave his Koala face to Lisa and Paul.

'The food was delicious, thank you.' Sheldon sad graciously and Lisa smiled before clearing the plates to prepare for dessert.

'You know, for a couple that is engaged, you sure don't act like one,' Lisa laughed, biting into the cheesecake she had just served.

'How do you mean?' Penny asked and Lisa shrugged.

'I don't know. Don't get me wrong you are an extremely cute couple but I don't know,' Lisa sighed and looked between the two of them, 'the way you speak to each other and act around each other… it just doesn't seem like your engaged or even in love.'

'Lisa!' Paul cried in horror. Penny stared at Lisa and opened her mouth to respond, however Sheldon stepped in first and Penny really wished he hadn't because the words that came out his mouth she knew would end in utter disaster.

'Madam, I must ask that you retract that statement. Penny and I are very much in love and I am appalled that you would call our relationship into question in public. That ma'am is something you would say to your husband after we, as your guests, have left. However, that must be very complicated for your limited brainpower so let me spell it out for you. I love her, we make love on a regular basis and as you can see from her condition, she is carrying the fruits of my loins! We may not show it as much as convention dictates but it works for us. Penny knows that I am not overly affectionate, least of all in the presence of strangers. I didn't want to come here tonight because every monday evening is thai food night, it has been for the past six years and it will be for the next six years. I tried to make myself forget that we were coming here tonight, but it's like trying to forget you're going to die… it doesn't work! I came here because Penny asked me to and I did it because I love her. Are you satisfied now?' Sheldon said angrily whilst Lisa and Paul just nodded. Penny was slightly proud that he had managed to keep up the act, however his rudeness to her colleague and husband she could not be dealing with.

'Sheldon.' She hissed and he looked at her in annoyance.

'I'm sorry Penny but I cannot stand to be in the same room as your friends for a moment longer.' Sheldon said, standing up. He looked back at his shocked hosts, thanked them for the meal and left.

'Sheldon!' Penny cried, 'SHELDON!... Lisa, Paul… I am so sorry about his behaviour. Truly I am.' Penny apologised, 'My fiancé is a bit of a kook and it took me six years before I even realised I had a romantic attraction towards him and still to this day he even surprises me.'

'Don't worry hun, it's obvious that the cares deeply for you. I'm just sorry that we offended him.' Lisa sighed and Penny shook her head.

'You didn't do anything wrong, just let me have a word with him. I can usually manage to make him see sense,' she chuckled before running out after Sheldon, who had already left the house. 'SHELDON, STOP RIGHT THERE!' she yelled at him, halfway down the street outside.

'I'm going home Penny. I cannot stand to be in the presence of those people again.'

'And what exactly did they do wrong?'

'Um…'

'Exactly Sheldon!'

'Look, you're the one who asked me to pretend I was your fiancé and in love with you. I have seen countless films that contain love scenes and logically, it would be conventional to stick up for my lover so I did. I made sure that your friends knew that our love was genuine.'

'Yeah! In the most rudest way possible! Maybe I've asked too much of you Sheldon…' Penny sighed.

'You think? Just tell everyone the truth Penny!'

'I'll get fired though, especially when Burkett finds out that I've lied to him… he might even sue me!'

'You're pretty enough to get another job and it would be in his best interests not to.'

'Sheldon, I can't tell the truth just yet.' Penny sighed, rubbing her temples and Sheldon nodded his head in disappointment.

'I should have known. You can't ride out this lie forever Penny. Pregnancy only lasts nine months… you've got four months left of your so called pregnancy and well when you give birth to a ball of air, you're going to land yourself in a lot of trouble because in the end… the truth always comes out.' Sheldon said before turning and walking away.

**Thanks so much for all your reviews, it's been so nice having them. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I hope I managed to make you laugh… writing comedy can be quite hard when everyone has different senses of humour haha Well you know the drill, shoot me a lovely review and I'll love you forever xx**


	6. Chapter 6

'Hey babe,' Anna smiled as Penny entered the office feeling extremely glum. Penny sighed and sat down at her desk, 'what up hun? You seem down and it's only 8.45 in the morning.'

'Sheldon is what's up…. We had a fight over my pregnancy.' Penny sighed. She knew Anna would get the underlying message but there were other ears she had to consider and before she knew it, some of her colleagues ran over and began to comfort her. They began asking her all the personal questions… were they still together, had he walked out on her and if so what would she do, did he want her to get an abortion. 'Look girls, I don't really want to talk about it,' Penny sighed before getting up and walking away. Anna knew she would be heading to the restrooms, so she made her own way there.

'Ok, tell me what happened and here… have a ciggie.' She said, pulling out a cigarette and handing it to Penny, who lit it up without a second thought before beginning her rant.

'Lisa from Human Resources invited Sheldon and I for dinner last night and all was going well. I had told Sheldon to be the loving fiancé and not to be his usual self and he was doing it fine until Lisa suggested that we didn't look in love or that we were engaged. He then went all psyco and started insulting her and her husband saying stuff like they had limited brainpower… that he had to spell it out that he loves me. He also said he was trying to forget the fact that he had to go to their house for dinner and it was like trying to forget that eventually we're all gonna die and the only reason he came was because I asked him to. Then he said he couldn't be in the presence of them, almost implying they were insufferable. I had to apologise profusely to them and when I confronted him about it he tried to turn it on me and justify himself by saying that because I asked him to pretend he was in love with me, he was supposed to stick up for me and make sure that Lisa and her husband knew that our love was genuine. Then he told me to tell everyone the truth about the pregnancy.' Penny took another large drag on her cigarette; thanking God it was calming her nerves, 'Why are you smiling?'

'Penny… hun… did you ever consider that maybe Sheldon… y'know…' Anna smiled and Penny's jaw dropped.

'No… No! Hell no! You know what he's like, he's allergic to human emotions so there's no way I could ever consider him being a part of my love life let alone him fancying me! Besides I much prefer the strong, handsome type,' Penny cried. Anna shrugged as she lit her second cigarette.

'Well… you never know,' Anna laughed, 'I just think that maybe it would be good for you to have someone different for a change and Sheldon can be very sweet, you've said so yourself.'

'But he's so… Sheldon, I just don't see it. Besides, I already tried different with Leonard and it just didn't work, why should Sheldon be any better?' Penny sighed.

'Well maybe you just don't know it yet hun but you did name him as the father of your "child"; surely that must mean something?' Anna shrugged whilst Penny frowned. Could Anna be right? 'Anyway, we really should get back to work, Burkett will be calling you in five… besides you're gonna be losing the bump soon anyway so it doesn't really matter.' Anna laughed, finishing her cigarette and chucking it out the window. Penny nodded and mimicked her actions before going to make Burkett his coffee.

'Good morning Penny,' came the droning sound of Ned's voice.

'Ned, what can I do for you.'

'I've been reading up on pregnancy… shouldn't you be having a scan soon? You'll be able to show us pictures of your baby. I look forward to seeing them.' Ned smirked.

'I don't have to show you anything Ned, gross weirdo's like yourself might start perving over my baby, so you can bet your mothers ass you won't be seeing it.' Penny spat before walking out with Burkett's coffee. She set it down in front of Burkett and turned to leave before she was stopped.

'Penny… hold on for one moment please.' Burkett drawled and Penny rolled her eyes before turned around and smiling at him.

'Sure, what's up Mr Burkett?' she asked, her false smile plastered on her face.

'I'm being called away on a large case which is due to begin in two weeks so I won't be here for the next few months. I am therefore leaving my son in charge.'

'You have a son?!' Penny cried. All this time she had thought that Burkett was still a virgin in love with his cat.

'Yes, from a failed marriage but that is none of your business Ms Stevens. Now, my son has just come back from working on a few Death Row cases and like me, he will have high expectations of you. He's due to come in in a couple of hours to meet you and to get a feel of the place so make sure you are presentable and that everything is running smoothly.'

Great, just what she needed. Another Burkett on the premises and no doubt he would be as utterly unreasonable and ugly and demanding as his father. 'I'll be at my desk until you need me.' Penny said forcefully before walking back out. As she stepped into the corridor, she bumped straight into Lisa. 'Lisa, hi!'

'Oh, Penny… hello,' Lisa said, stopping and smiling at Penny.

'Look Lisa, I really want to apologise again about my… partner's behaviour last night.' Penny said.

'It's fine Penny. I should never have said what I thought about you two in front of you guys. It's obvious to me now that Sheldon does really love you and that he's just a more reserved about showing it. Perhaps we'll go to birthing classes together in the next couple of months.' Lisa laughed, 'Anyway, I need to get back to my office, so I'll see you later Penny.'

* * *

Penny walked out of the staff kitchen with a cup of tea when suddenly she bumped into a man who couldn't be a couple of years older than her.

'Oh I'm so sorry!' Penny cried, secretly checking this extremely handsome fella out. He was tall with dark brown hair and dark stubble adorned his masculine jawline. To her, he looked like he had just stepped out of a Vogue magazine because he was GORGEOUS even if he was wearing glasses. But they weren't nerdy glasses like Leonard's, they were designer and suited him perfectly, highlighting his square jaw. Damn it, why did she have to be fake pregnant? She didn't recognise him so she concluded he must be a client… probably being sued over his good looks.

'Oh don't worry about it, I wasn't watching where I was going either,' he laughed, 'So how far along are you?' he asked, smiling at her stomach.

'Um, nearly four and a half months but it's still early days… anything could happen so I'm being extra careful. You know… eating all my veggies and fruits.' Penny laughed nervously, 'So I er… haven't seen you around here. I think I would remember someone like you… are you a client of the firm?'

'No, I'm just about to start actually… the name's Simon,' he smiled, his perfect teeth gleaming and Penny felt her heart flutter when he took her hand and kissed it, 'and I must say, meeting you has been the highlight of my day so I must ask that you tell me your name.'

Penny blushed and looked at him, slipping off her "engagement ring" and putting it in her pocket before opening her mouth to speak, 'I'm…'

'PENNY!' Burkett's voice rang out and she rolled her eyes as Burkett came storming down the corridor, 'Penny my son is going to be here soon and I need you here ready to make us tea and coffee and to look after Mrs Jarvis!' he yelled at her. Penny sighed and nodded, not noticing the smile creep onto Simon's face.

'Yes sir.'

Simon cleared his throat and Burkett turned around, the frown disappearing from his face, 'Simon! You're here already!' he said and Penny was shocked to 1] see an actual smile on her boss' face that wasn't to do with the cat and 2] that SIMON was Burkett's son!

'Wait, you're my boss's son!' Penny cried in horror. Simon didn't look anything like Burkett, for one thing Simon was good looking and Burkett wasn't.

'That's me.' He laughed, 'So you must be Penny… when my father spoke of you to me, I certainly didn't picture you as you are.'

'And I didn't ever see you being Mr Burkett's son, I mean… you're really good looking!' Penny cried before realising what she said, 'Er… I mean, right. Um, do you want a tea or a coffee?' she asked, composing herself.

'No, I'll get them… you're five months pregnant, really you shouldn't be on your feet at all,' Simon smiled and Penny felt butterflies in her stomach.

'No, it's fine.' She forced herself to say so Simon held his hands up in defeat.

'Alright, I'll have a cup of coffee please.' He said and Burkett sneered as the two flirted.

'Coffee. Black. Two sugars Penny. Also I want to meet your fiancé next week at the company's retreat.' He said before turning and walking back into his office

'You're engaged?' Simon said, his voice sounding surprised and Penny just mentally slapped herself. Bang goes another one, just like the guy she had met on the bus the other day. Thinking quick on her feet, she respun the story she had told earlier in the day, adding a few bits to it though.

'Um yeah, well when I fell pregnant, we felt it was the right thing to do. We're saving up for a nice wedding but to be honest, I'm not sure if my relationship with my fiancé is going too well at the moment. We've been fighting a lot, especially over this pregnancy and well I don't know sometimes I don't think I even want to marry him. Anyway, I'd better get on with making this coffee.' She said walking back into the kitchenette but Simon followed her, stopping her by resting his hand on hers.

'Are you saying you're not happy in your relationship?'

'I suppose so… I mean, we hadn't been going out for very long when I fell pregnant and now we're getting married? It just seems so… rushed.'

'Well, would it be wrong of me then to ask you out on a date?' Simon asked and Penny blushed. She was so tempted to say yes but she knew that dating her boss's son could break her story and with his gorgeous looks, she knew sex would be on the cards.

'As much as I want to say yes… I can't.' Penny sighed, pouring the now boiled water into the cup.

'Well, if you don't ask you don't get. Your fiancé is lucky to have a beauty like you on his arm. I look forward to meeting him next week at the retreat. However… should you change your mind, here's my number.' He said, setting a business card down next to her. 'I must say Penny; I look forward to taking over this job for the next few months. I do hope that we can get more… properly acquainted.'

**Thanks for all your reviews guys, they really make my day when I get to read them. I've based Simon's character on Henry Cavill because he was just so LUSH in the Tudors. It was a tough decision between him and Johnathon Rhys Meyers but Henry came out on top ahaha well I hope you enjoyed the chapter and would love to hear your thoughts on it! Have a nice day! xx **


	7. Chapter 7

Penny opened her apartment door and stripped off the baby bump before chucking it on the sofa. It felt nice to look at herself in the mirror and see a flat non pregnant stomach. Walking over to Sheldon's apartment, she opened the door and walked in on Sheldon speaking on the phone.

'Hello? I'd like to speak to the manager please, and be quick about it! Cooper. Sheldon Cooper. No he doesn't know me but he will shortly… Hello? Is that Mr Groves? Yes, well it's about a large spineless Yucca plant your garden centre delivered to my apartment about half an hour ago! Yes, a young man, I didn't catch his name but it may as well have been Derek Zoolander or an experimental physicist! Well I'll tell you exactly what the problem is Mr Groves! I was sitting at my desk when he arrived, so I asked him if he'd just put it down somewhere suitable and my roommate and I would move it later and do you know what he's done?! He's only gone and planted it in the bloody toilet! Yes actually _in_ the toilet… with compost and everything. I mean how anyone can be so utterly stupid just boggles my mind! A mistake anyone could have made?! Are you stark- I mean, what am I supposed to do, cock my leg against the trunk like a dog?! I don't care if you can't do anything about it; I want a new spineless yucca delivered right away and this current one that is in my toilet removed! Good and see that you do! Good day!' Sheldon slammed the phone down and Penny had to bite back laughter as she walked towards their bathroom only to see a giant spineless yucca planted in their toilet. Oh this would totally screw up Sheldon's routine!

'I see you have a bit of a problem on your hands Sheldon,' she said and Sheldon looked at her with annoyance.

'You think?' he said angrily, 'And what are you doing in my apartment?'

'I need you.' Penny sighed, flopping down on the couch.

'Need me to….?'

'I need you to accompany me to the company retreat next week. My boss said he wants to meet you.'

'But he's already met me,' Sheldon groaned and Penny shrugged.

'That's what he said. Besides, I'd hardly call the two minute conversation you two had an actual meeting so you have to come.'

'But I don't like pretending to be someone I'm not. It's too difficult. You saw what happened at your insufferable friend's house!' Sheldon whined. Penny rolled her eyes and slapped his arm.

'Stop it Sheldon! I need you to do this for me! Look, be yourself… whatever just as long as you remain with the fact that you are my fiancé and the father to my child.'

'Penny…' Sheldon sighed.

'Look, it's just for a couple more weeks, I promise,' Penny said before Sheldon let out a defeated sigh and agreed.

'Fine.'

'Sheldon, you are amazing!' She cried, hugging him tightly. Sheldon rolled his eyes and gently patted her back.

'Well there are three wasted words. You really need to stop telling me things I already know.' Sheldon remarked before prying his body away from hers.

'Right well, this time around, I think we should practice being romantic with each other before hand. We need to convince people, especially Burkett.'

'I refuse to engage in coitus with you!' Sheldon cried in horror and Penny rolled her eyes.

'Believe it or not Sheldon, I don't particularly want to have sex with you either,' she said, 'Now sit because every night until next week we are going to practice hand holding, cuddling and sweet talk!'

* * *

At ten past nine in the evening, Simon shut his office door and began to walk towards the exit of the building when he realised that he had just walked past Penny, who was typing up Burkett's notes on her computer.

'Hey you, didn't expect to see you here at this time of night!' he said sitting beside her. Penny almost jumped when he spoke.

'Gosh, you frightened me to death Mr Burkett.'

'Penny please, call me Simon. I don't like being reminded that I have that cat ogling man for a father,' Simon chuckled.

'Yeah, well your cat ogling father has had me typing up notes for the past 6 hours in preparation for his court case.' Penny sighed, rubbing her eyes.

'Look, finish it tomorrow. Let me drive you home… your fiancé must be worried about you.' Simon said softly and she looked at the handsome man next to her. There was a finger print on his glasses and it was really pissing her off for some reason.

'Your dad will be really annoyed with me. He wants them first thing tomorrow morning.' She sighed and Simon frowned.

'I'll put him right if he protests, don't worry about that.' He said, 'You need to go home and get some rest.' Before he knew it, Penny had whipped his glasses off and was cleaning them with the hem of her dress.

'Sorry… I just couldn't take it anymore… You had a fingerprint smudge on the lens.' Penny chuckled before putting his glasses back on.

'Oh wow… wow I can see!' Simon laughed before looking at Penny's bump and gawking, 'Oh my god, Penny… I don't know if you know this but… you're pregnant!'

Penny playfully pushed him as she laughed, 'Your sense of humour really takes a dive after 9 o clock.'

'I still can't believe my father made you stay until this time.'

'Yeah, I know.'

'I'll have a word with him.' Simon said, 'Come on then, let's get you home.' He said getting up and Penny nodded.

'Ok, oh man… I really wish I wasn't pregnant.' She sighed as she and Simon locked up and left the firm before walking towards his nice large white BMW.

'I hear a lot of women say that.' Simon chuckled, unlocking the vehicle and opening the door for Penny. Penny smiled and looked at Simon before getting in the car, her heart swooning.

'This baby was an accident but Sheldon, my fiancé, and I had discussed it. He was all like "Let's have a baby, it'll be so cute" and at the time I was all for it but now I am actually pregnant I'm thinking really Sheldon? Let's just strap fifty pounds of cement to your torso and see how fun it is then. I don't know, ever since I got pregnant, things are becoming harder, I'm more ratty and I haven't read one pregnancy book that focuses on women's stories… all the books just tell you what to do rather than give experiences.' Penny sighed, 'I really need a drink… or some weed.'

Simon laughed at her; she truly did make him laugh sometimes, 'Oh Penny, you do make me laugh. Though on a serious note, when you mentioned not being able to find a pregnancy book that focused on women's experiences… well it just so happens that I am also a partner in a publishing business and we are about to open a department for maternity books. I have a business meeting with an author who has written a book we are interested in publishing. Perhaps you'd like to come along and see the book? You know, give your opinion? The author, Rachel Day, she's also pregnant and with you being pregnant too, that could be an added advantage for her to choose us as her publisher. So what do you say?' Simon asked as he drove.

'Oh, I don't know… I don't think I'd be any good at that.' Penny said, shaking her head. Simon chuckled to himself as he pulled up outside Penny's apartment building.

'You'll probably be better than you think.'

Penny opened the door and looked at Simon, 'You have too much faith in my abilities.'

'Or you have too little,' Simon quipped.

'Whatever you idiot,' Penny giggled, 'anyway, thanks for the lift home Simon… it was nice not getting on a bus for once.'

'It's alright… I won't be in the office tomorrow or the day after but I'll see you at the company retreat on Friday and I guess… I'll also have the… pleasure of meeting your fiancé. Until then...' Simon said before leaning forward and kissing her on the cheek. Penny blushed and got out the car and waved as he drove off.

She then proceeded to walk dreamily up the stairs and into her own place. Simon had captivated her heart and maybe she had caught his as well. Only problem now was this whole lie. She needed to find a way to get out of this as soon as she could because she just had to go out with Simon. He could be her future!

**Thanks for all your reviews so far guys! I'm so glad you're liking this story. Let me know what you think! Have a nice day xx **


	8. Chapter 8

Penny and Anna stood getting ready for the retreat in Penny's apartment. Both women had been shopping and had bought themselves some new outfits and as they helped each other get ready, they gossiped with each other.

'Here are the diamonds Richie asked me to wear this evening,' Anna laughed showing Penny an extremely extravagant and large diamond necklace.

'Man, you've got it good being his mistress.' Penny said, gawking at it before affixing the necklace around Anna's neck

'Yeah, I know… I'm still surprised people don't know yet.'

'Well you manage to hide it well. Isn't it weird sleeping with a guy whose 11 years older than you?'

'I'm only 24 babe, it's not that weird. It's not like he's Burkett's age.' Anna said, beginning to apply her false lashes.

'I suppose I had best go check on Sheldon and make sure that his outfit is appropriate. It would not surprise me if he was wearing his Flash outfit,' Penny sighed. Anna turned to look at her and nodded.

'Though I still need the goss on you and Simon, and we're not leaving until I have it!'

'Ok ok, the minute I get back,' she laughed.

'The MINUTE you get back and don't take long cause I'm dying to know!' Anna then turned back to the mirror to finish her makeup whilst Penny rolled her eyes and went over to Sheldon's apartment. Leonard looked at her and smiled.

'Hello preggars,' he laughed.

'Any idea where Sheldon is?' Penny sighed and Leonard laughed.

'You're really gonna take him today? Sheldon? To your work do?'

'Yep, have to. The boss wants to meet him since he is my fiancé and the father of my child.' She said with annoyance laced into her voice.

'You know this is gonna be a recipe for disaster,' Leonard said, sipping his tea, 'though I'm quite impressed that you've managed to keep your lie up for what? Three weeks now?'

'I know, I'm quite surprised myself to be honest….ugh… where is Sheldon!' Penny groaned before walking towards Sheldon's bedroom. When she got there, she noticed the door was slightly open. She went to open the door fully when she was stopped short by a shirtless Sheldon walking past. Penny's jaw dropped. He actually had quite a bit of muscle under him and he wasn't scrawny at all, like she had previously thought. He hadn't noticed her and she watched with interest as he turned around and took out a shirt from his wardrobe. Then she noticed it. A tattoo. Sheldon. Had. A tattoo. It was a large eagle carrying a scroll flying in front of, rather almost towards a full moon. Though she couldn't make out the writing on the scroll, she'd have to ask him about it later. The tattoo sat between his shoulder blades and spread out to the ends of his shoulders and Penny couldn't help but wonder when he had had it done, how long he had been in the studio for, how he had managed to keep it from everyone and above all, why had he got one? When he pulled his shirt over his head, she knocked on the door.

'Enter.' He said and Penny walked in.

'Well, you clean up pretty well,' she smiled. He was wearing dark wash jeans and a white shirt, 'It's nice to see you in something different.'

'Thank you, you look beautiful,' Sheldon said, taking in her appearance and smiling inwardly to himself. Her beautiful blonde locks tumbled down onto her shoulders and she glowed with feminine beauty. Her smile was perfection and her eyes lit up the room and he found that it was nice to pretend that he was her fiancé and a pending father. In addition, during their practice romance sessions he had grown to like holding Penny's hand and becoming more intimate with her. She made his stomach feel a weird and a secret smile came to his face whenever Leonard mentioned her or he thought about her. He couldn't quite put his finger on it but if his logic was correct, it would seem that he was beginning to see Penny a little bit differently than he had before. He hadn't even noticed that she was speaking to him.

'Thanks Sheldon, well I just wanted to check if you were dressed ok for tonight. Anna and I will come knock for you in about a ten, fifteen minutes?'

'Well which is it?'

'Sheldon,' Penny said crossing her arms and he sighed, agreeing to be on standby. Suddenly she noticed the spineless Yucca plant. 'So you got the new plant I see.'

'Yes and it was, as the pub folk say, "on the house" with a full refund due to that incompetent boy's actions. I could have murdered him. It took me forever to get that toilet clean again!' Sheldon huffed and he cringed as he remembered all that soil.

'Right, well I'll text you when we're ready to go,' Penny said before walking back into her own apartment, thinking about what she felt when she witnessed a shirtless tattooed Sheldon. 'Anna? Am I shallow?' she asked, entering her bedroom.

'No… ok maybe a little. Why?'

'Well, I've been thinking about it just now and…it's just I've known Simon for like a week and I really like him and I wanna go out with him but when I stop and think about it properly, well whilst he's hot and he's been nice to me on a couple of occasions… I don't know much about him. And just now, I saw Sheldon shirtless and he looks good… he's got a tattoo. I'm just scared that I'm basing everything on looks.'

'Sheldon. A tattoo?'

'Yep, my reaction exactly.' Penny sighed, quickly applying a bit of makeup.

'Wow, wouldn't of seen him as one to get a tattoo.'

'I know, me neither! Ugh there I go again judging people on their looks!'

'Look hun, you can't go out with someone if you don't find them somewhat attractive. Well, you could if you wanted to but the point is something has to attract you them. That's what dating is for… to learn about the dude. Don't worry about it, you're a lovely person. Now.. tell me more on… Simon,' Anna said winking at her suggestively.

'Thanks hun, hmmm Simon… well he took me home yesterday, he's already asked me out… the day we met actually, and he's really nice to me. I do really want to get to know him.'

Anna frowned, 'He asked you out on the first day he met you seeing you were pregnant.'

'Yeah, what's wrong with that?'

'Does he know your "engaged" to Sheldon?'

'Yeah….'

'And yet he still asked you out?' Anna gawked and Penny nodded with a smile. 'Penny, that's not good?'

'What why? I'm single.'

'Yeah, you know that, I know that, but he doesn't know that!' Anna said, anger at Simon swelling up in her veins, 'Penny he's trying to steal a pregnant woman off her fiancé!'

'But I'm not really pregnant and I'm gonna be getting rid of the bump soon!'

'Hun, that's besides the point. We know that but he doesn't. You think once he's had you he's gonna keep you?'

'Well I'll be single and non pregnant so yes I do!' Penny cried.

'Babe, I don't want to argue with you but I think he's just trying to get in your pants.'

'And what if he really does like me and would be there for my kid? I mean he asked me to come and give my opinion on a book his company wants to publish.'

'Penny, you know what… it's your love life. You're entitled to fuck it up in whatever way you wish but right now let's just get ready to go,' Anna sighed and Penny nodded. Though, Anna had got her thinking… what if Simon was doing that? Was she just a conquest for him? Or did he actually want her because he liked her?

_Knock knock knock_

'Penny and Penny's friend.'

_Knock knock knock_

'Penny and Penny's friend.'

_Knock knock knock_

'Penny and Penny's friend.'

Penny walked out of her bedroom and opened the door.

'Hey Sheldon, I thought I said I'd text you when we were done. I couldn't have left yours more than five minutes ago,' Penny chuckled and he blinked at her.

'My calculations dictate that if we are to arrive for noon we must leave now as it is approximately an hours taxi drive to the venue.'

'Sheldon, we don't have to be there for noon exactly.'

'Well I'd feel more comfortable if we left now, which is why I took the liberty of calling a taxi which should arrive soon,' Sheldon stated, sitting down.

'Sheldon, you can't rush us!' Penny cried as Sheldon's phone buzzed.

'Look like I have to… the taxi's here.' Sheldon said, 'Penny's friend… It's time to go,' Sheldon called and Anna walked out.

'I'm ready. Come on Penny! Let's go.'

**Gonna have some fun at the retreat when Sheldon meets Simon.., anyone want to hander a guess at what could happen? I have put the inspiration of Sheldon's tattoo on my profile, so it's there if you want to have a look :] Thanks for all your reviews aswell everyone, I hope you enjoyed the chapter so let me know what you thought. Have a great day! xx**


	9. Chapter 9

Penny and Anna sighed and looked at each other as Sheldon continued to moan about random stuff, the current topic being his hunger. They had been caught in nightmare traffic for the past hour and the taxi driver had promised to not charge for the waiting time.

'Oh, God Penny, I'm bloody ravenous now. I can't last a moment longer. It's no good. I'm afraid there's only one thing for it: we'll have to eat Anna. I know she's a bit boney but these are desperate times, and as a close friend of yours I'm sure she will agree to do the decent thing and shoot herself.' Sheldon whined.

'You are not eating Anna, Sheldon!' Penny rolled her eyes for the umpteenth time, 'It won't be much longer until we get there and you can eat all you want. Then when we have the formal dinner in the evening you can eat what you want then.' Sheldon shuffled in his seat uncomfortably and sulked for the next half hour, mumbling about his hunger.

When they finally arrived at the swanky golf club, both Penny and Anna were relieved to step out the taxi and away from Sheldon. 'My God, I thought that journey would never end!' Anna laughed as she and Penny waited for the taxi driver to take out all their overnight bags from the boot of the car.

'Well we have to endure him for the rest of the days. My god, this place is beautiful… I don't think I would ever be able to afford to stay at a place like this, 'Penny gasped.

'I know right! It's nice to know your shitty boss does something for us.' Anna laughed, 'I suppose we'd best go check in.'

Penny nodded and turned to face Sheldon, 'come on Sheldon, let's go!' she called out to him, smirking at the look of annoyance on his face, 'and for goodness sake smile. Anyone would think someone had pissed in your Cheerios this morning.'

'Penny, you know I don't eat Cheerios. They have nowhere near the correct amount of fibre in them.' Sheldon said, giving her a snort of derision.

'Oh Sheldon…' Penny sighed, 'it's show time now so let's do this,' she put a smile on her face and handed her bags to Sheldon, 'If you will… honey.' She grinned; she knew he had muscles under that shirt so she was going to make him put them to good use however all it earned her was a glare from Sheldon.

'Fine, but on the way back you're carrying them!' Sheldon said.

'Love you Shelly,' Penny laughed and even Sheldon managed to smile as he watched her tilt her head back and let out her bubbly laughter as her long blonde hair tousled over her shoulders. Whilst Penny hadn't seen his facial reactions, Anna most certainly had and she watched with interest. She had never seen Sheldon smile, according to Penny it was quite rare of him to do it, so it was quite shocking to actually witness it. Making their way to the reception, they all checked into their rooms before making their way down to the golf course to meet with Burkett and the other staff.

'I hate golf attire... it brings back painful memories.' Sheldon groaned.

'Sheldon, please, just put up with it. You are about to meet my boss again so you need to act like you can play golf.'

'I thought you said I could be myself.' Sheldon frowned, 'That was the agreement of me accompanying you on this trip.'

'Yes, I know but just for this initial meeting, please just be a little bit normal.' Penny pleaded, 'this is the last time I promise.'

'Make sure it is Penny because I'm keeping up my end of the bargain, it's time you kept up yours.'

'I promise, now, hold my hand.' Penny said, taking his hand and putting a smile on her face as she walked up to Burkett.

'Hi Mr Burkett, you remember my fiancé Sheldon.'

'Ah yes, we met briefly before, hopefully I shall have a chance to get to know you better.' Burkett smirked and he put his hand out for Sheldon to shake. Taking a deep breath and ignoring all his habits, he grasped Burkett's hand and quickly but firmly shook it.

'Likewise Mr Burkett.'

'Please, we're on a company retreat, it's Ronald.' Burkett smiled. Penny gawked at how different he was being. Her boss was almost… nice?

'Ok… Ronald… I see you have a cat. She's very pretty.' Sheldon said and Burkett beamed.

'Yes, she's called Mrs Jarvis… has Penny never mentioned her to you before?'

'No, Penny and I leave work at work sir… that way we can focus on us.' Sheldon koala smiled at Penny's boss and she couldn't help but be impressed at Sheldon's acting skills. If she hadn't known about the lie, she would have believed him.

'Right, well now that you've finally arrived, some of the boys have already gone down to putt, care to join me in a little one on one?'

'Ofcourse… I am an… avid golfer.' Sheldon said, swallowing back his grimace as Anna walked up and stood by Penny.

'He's doing pretty well. Burkett seems to like him,' she whispered in her ear and Penny nodded, watching in pure shock.

'Well, how shall we decide who goes first? The old rock paper scissors way?' Burkett asked. Sheldon frowned.

'Oh I don't think that's a good idea. Anecdote suggests that a game of rock paper scissors, players will tie 70-80% of the time due to the limited number of outcomes. I suggest rock paper scissors lizard Spock.' Sheldon said and Penny just closed her eyes in embarrassment.

'What?' Burkett asked.

'It's very simple: scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporises rock and as it always has…rock crushes scissors.' Sheldon said, proudly showing off the hand techniques at the same time.

'Er… could you repeat that?'

'Of course,' Sheldon smiled, 'scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporises rock and rock crushes scissors.'

Burkett blinked at Sheldon before letting out a hearty chortle, 'I like you son… you're weird but I like you. I don't understand it still but you can go first,' Burkett laughed, clapping Sheldon on the back and whistling for the caddy.

'Did you just witness that? Sheldon and Burkett are getting on!' Penny cried in horror, turning to Anna, 'Anna?' Penny looked at her friend, who was mimicking Sheldon's rock paper scissors lizard Spock invention

'I think I got it.' Anna said nodding her head.

'Oh not you too.'

'It looked fun. Man I really think you should give him a go.' Anna laughed as the two followed Burkett and Sheldon.

'Anna, we've talked about this… Sheldon just isn't my type and he doesn't have any feelings for me.'

'Are you sure about that? He's doing this massive favour for you and he's doing things for you that he'd do for no one else.'

'Yeah and he's also doing it for some Lord of the Rings gimic I'm going to buy him.' Penny laughed. Anna sighed and decided not to pursue it.

The next couple of hours went by quickly and Penny still couldn't get her head around Sheldon and Burkett forming a friendship as she sat under the gazebo. She was also quite shocked that Sheldon could play golf and that he was very talented at it! Anna had gone to get them a couple of drinks so she was lost in her own little world until she suddenly felt a tap on her shoulder. Turning around, a smile erupted on her face when she saw Simon.

'Heya!' She grinned, standing up and he returned it.

'Hi, you're looking beautiful today,' Simon beamed, kissing her cheek.

'Thank you… you clean up pretty well yourself.' Penny blushed, gently touching her cheek.

'So, how have you been?'

'I've been ok, though the ride with Sheldon and Anna was a bit of a nightmare… there was a lot of traffic. It took nearly two hours to get here!' Penny laughed.

'Oh yes, your fiancé is here.' Simon said, almost disappointedly. Penny noticed his downcast body language and inwardly smiled before she nodded.

'Yeah, he's here,' she said, 'he and your dad are getting along like they were best friends or something.'

'Wow… that's saying something.'

'I guess that's what I've always loved about Sheldon. He makes friends with all sorts without meaning to.' Penny giggled, not bothering to say anything when she felt Simon slink an arm around her waist. She let out a surprised shriek when he pulled her body to his so that they were face to face and their bodies extremely close to each other. She smiled as she gazed into his eyes and he smiled back, leaning his face closer to hers.

'Penny, I know you're pregnant and engaged but I want to tell you that…'

'Am I interrupting something?' came a voice. Penny and Simon looked to where the voice originated from and Penny jumped away from Simon when she saw Sheldon standing there with Anna, who's jaw had dropped.

'Nothing happened!' Penny cried.

'Sure,' Sheldon growled, feeling a weird sensation growing in his stomach. This was probably the feeling of jealousy and he didn't quite know why it was so strong but he knew it had something to do with an extremely handsome man being extremely close to his Penny. Turning on his heel, he stormed away.

'Sheldon!' Penny cried, starting to run after him but Simon caught her arm.

'Penny, don't go after him. Give him a moment.'

'No… let me go. I have to go speak to him!' Penny cried, pulling her arm out of his grip and running after Sheldon. Meanwhile, Anna glared at Simon. He was up to something; she could feel it… there just wasn't something right with this guy.

Back with Sheldon and Penny, she had caught up with him and pulled his arm, making him stop. 'Nice acting back there Sheldon, you're better than I thought.' She laughed, catching her breath, only to stop when she saw his hard gaze on her.

'Penny, you're my fiancée to everyone here and you're carrying my child. You can't gallivant off with handsome men. If you want to do that… then drop the pregnancy act and just get on with it! I'm trying my hardest and you're taking this as a joke.'

'Sheldon… I…' Penny was at a loss for words, 'I'm sorry. I promise I won't go near him again for the rest of the retreat.' She said and Sheldon sighed.

'I don't believe you Penny… I'm sorry. I'm going to keep this charade up for now but after this retreat is over, I will no longer be your "fiancé" and you are no longer going to be pregnant… do you understand? Now, if you excuse me, I have to start getting ready for dinner tonight.' Sheldon said walking up to their room.

* * *

Sheldon stood and just talked to Burkett as he waited for Penny and Anna to join them for the dancing part of the evening. They had both gone to the ladies to powder their noses after dinner was over and Sheldon was itching to remove himself from Burkett's company.

'So, you and Penny had a lover's tiff I hear. You two barely spoke at dinner' Burkett said, sipping some wine.

'We've sort of made up… it was a misunderstanding. In fact, I've spoken with the DJ and he's going play her favourite song when I give him the signal and I'm gonna make sure that we're back on good terms. I don't like not speaking with Penny. It's like someone's blown out a candle in my life when we argue' Sheldon said, sipping his sparkling water.

'Well good luck,' Burkett chuckled, 'my first marriage ended due to our arguments, hopefully yours won't end before you've even tied the knot.'

'Thank you.'

'When are you gonna give her a smooch?'

'A smooch?'

'Yes, a smooch. You know… a kiss? I haven't seen you kiss her once since your arrival. As youths with a baby on the way, I thought you two would be all over each other. She's told me you two are usually all over each other.'

'She has? Well I don't want to embarrass her in front of all her colleagues, it wouldn't be right,' Sheldon frowned.

'Fair enough. I give Mrs Jarvis as much affection as I can… if humans could marry animals, I'd marry her in a heartbeat.' Burkett grinned and Sheldon slowly turned to look at him, his eyes wide.

'Right.' He said slowly before noticing that Penny was walking over in her beautiful red dress. His heart began to beat quickly and he smiled at Penny.

'Penny, sweetheart, can I escort you to the dance floor?' Sheldon asked and Penny looked at him in confusion.

'Um, yeah sure.' She said and he took her hand before leading her past Simon and to the middle of the dance floor where a couple golf club members and colleagues of Penny's were dancing. 'What are you doing Sheldon?'

'Burkett is becoming more suspicious.'

'I thought you two were chums?'

'No, he keeps asking me questions, almost like he's interrogating me. I for one find it quite uncomfortable. Therefore I had to use my highly evolved brain and improvise.' Sheldon said and Penny shook her head, smirking before stopping short as she heard the music start.

'I love this song!' she cried as Flashdance's "What a Feeling" song came on. She hooked her arms around his neck and he placed his arms around her waist as they began to slow dance. She then opened her mouth and began to sing along. Sheldon didn't have the heart to mention that she was out of tune; he just watched her, adoration in his eyes and she sang out of key to the song.

'_First when there's nothing  
But a slow glowing dream  
That your fear seems to hide  
Deep inside your mind_

_All alone, I have cried_  
_Silent tears full of pride_  
_In a world made of steel_  
_Made of stone'_

It was at that moment, Sheldon bent forward and captured Penny's lips in a kiss. Penny was shocked at first but she soon melted into his kiss and returned it. His lips were soft and moist and to her shock, he was a very good kisser; she almost couldn't get enough of his lips. The DJ spotted them kissing and placed a spot light on them, highlighting them to the crowd. At this, everyone turned to look at them passionately kissing in the middle of the floor and some took photos whilst others awwed. At the same time, Anna walked into the hall and gasped in delight when she saw Sheldon and Penny kissing in the middle of the dance floor. Too soon for her liking, they broke apart as everyone shouted 'WHAT A FEELING' and joined the dance floor.

Penny grinned at Sheldon, who was beaming at her and they began to dance faster as the music progressed. Sheldon turned to look at Simon, who looked livid and he couldn't help but feel triumphant. Penny laughed as Sheldon spun her around, she truly was enjoying this. All thoughts of Brian, sorry Simon, were at the back of her mind. All she could focus on what how elated she was feeling at this point in time.

Whilst Penny and Sheldon danced, Simon frowned and walked over to Burkett.

'Simon,' Burkett said, 'Did you manage to get anything?'

'No Ronnie, I didn't. I almost got her to kiss me but Sheldon interrupted. It seems like they are actually in love.' Simon sighed. Burkett looked at his friend and frowned, picking up on the disappointed tone and also on his body language.

'Simon, I employed you to be my fake son to make sure that that woman was telling the truth. I make friends with her deranged fiancé and you cosy up to her and find out the truth. You don't fall for her… I know she's pretty but I don't pay you to fall in love. I won that court case for you to keep your publishing company, the least you can do for me is help me find out if she's lying or not.'

'I understand that sir, I think she does love the guy but not as much as he loves her. She's easily swayed but I'll keep trying.'

'You do that Aymes. Otherwise I want my money back… Mrs Jarvis needs a new bedroom.'

'Yes sir.'

**Awww so it was a fakeout makeout kiss but still Shenny kissed. I was just randomly shopping with a couple of mates and this song came on the radio and I thought it would make a nice scene for our pair :] Let me know what you think! Have a nice day xxx **


	10. Chapter 10

Penny sat on the bed smiling as she thought about the kiss she had had earlier with Sheldon. The three hours that had passed since it happened had just flown by and she was still on a buzz from it. Amy had had it good! If she were Amy, she would never have left him for a career advancement in a different country, especially when his lips were so soft and captivating. She was brought back to reality when the bathroom door closed and revealed Sheldon in his pyjamas.

'The bathroom is free for you to use now,' Sheldon said walking over to the bed, 'where are you going to be sleeping?'

'In the bed?'

'But that's where I'm sleeping!'

'Well we'll just have to sleep in the same bed then… it is king sized, there's enough room for both of us.' Penny said, reaching under her dress and peeling off the stomach. Tomorrow she'd have to go back to that maternity store and swap the 4 month stomach for the 5 month one.

'I can't share a bed with you! I might unwillingly excrete pheromones and then you will pick up on them and want to engage in coitus with me!' Sheldon cried. As much as he was beginning to like Penny, he had to go slowly and get used to everything… especially since Penny enjoyed sexual relations and he didn't know anything about them. He then noticed that Penny was looking at him incredulously.

'What?! Look Sheldon, you're a handsome guy but just because we faked a kiss for everyone tonight doesn't mean that I'm going to go and jump into bed with you.'

'I'm sorry but that's precisely what you just said. You want to engage in coitus with me!'

'Sheldon, sleeping in the same bed doesn't always end in sex.' Penny chuckled and he looked at her in confusion.

'It doesn't?'

'No Sheldon,' she laughed before it clicked in her brain, 'So that's why you've been behaving so funny about sleeping next to me.'

'_I'm_ behaving funny?!' he gasped and Penny smiled at him before cheekily responding.

'I'm glad you recognise it.'

Sheldon shook his head, 'I would much prefer it if you slept on the sofa over there.' Sheldon said, pointing to it. Penny glared at him.

'Sheldon, I am not sleeping on the sofa. If you don't want to sleep in the same massive bed as me then fine but you take the couch.'

'And risk neck muscle spasms in the morning? I don't think so.'

'Right, so suck it up and just sleep beside me!' Penny stood up and took her dress off. She didn't care if Sheldon saw her in her underwear… he had peeked at her naked before and felt nothing so this was probably no different. Folding her dress up, she placed it on the arm of the couch and walked into the bathroom having not noticed that Sheldon was watching her. When the door shut, he could not get the sight of her out of his head. Her smooth porcelain skin, her long legs, that red underwear… she was beautiful. Looking down, he realised that little Sheldon had made an unwanted appearance.

'How odd, masturbatory time is reserved for Sunday at 10pm. It's 2.30am on Saturday.' Sheldon said to himself, quite shocked. Then it hit him. By undressing in front of him, Penny had let out her own pheromones and it had had an effect on him. Standing up, he walked around the room thinking of things that would bring his erection down and by managing to think of Leonard in Penny's underwear, it went away just as Penny opened the door, dressed in her own small silk pyjamas.

'Man, I'm tired,' she yawned, throwing back the covers and climbing into bed, 'Are you coming?' she asked. Sheldon looked at her and nodded, at a loss for words.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door and both Penny and Sheldon looked at each other in worry. Penny ran and grabbed her bump before attaching it and clambering back into bed. She pulled the covers up and picked up a book, whilst Sheldon slowly opened the door.

'Oh hello… Is Penny in?' Penny heard the voice of Simon speak.

'It's 2.30 in the morning. We're about to go to bed, in fact _my fiancée _is already in bed.' Sheldon growled but Simon brushed it off.

'Well, could I just quickly speak with her? I need to tell her something.'

'Can it not wait until tomorrow? She's lying down and her feet hurt. All books state that pregnant women must be comfortable and making her stand up to see you just after she finally got off her feet just seems cruel.' Sheldon glare. Simon rolled his eyes and decided to play along after peering in and smiling and waving at Penny.

'Can I come in then?' he asked and was quite surprised when a smile crept onto Sheldon's face. It made him feel quite uncomfortable and whilst Simon was more muscular and rugged, Sheldon was far taller and much cleverer and Simon knew who to pick his fights with.

'Simon, that's your name isn't it,' Sheldon said and Simon nodded in response, 'Why don't we play house?'

'House?'

'Yes. You play the door and I'll shut you,' Sheldon smirked before shutting the door in a confused Simon's face. A few seconds passed before there was another rap on the door and this time Sheldon ignored it. Penny giggled at the situation and was glad that Sheldon always managed to make her laugh. It just made her laugh harder when Simon started yelling through the door at them at the same time Sheldon slipped into bed next to her.

'Lucky for you I don't offend easily!' Simon's voice echoed through the door. Sheldon rolled his eyes.

'I guess I should try a little harder then.' He called out.

'Sheldon!' Penny cried, playfully slapping his arm.

'Owww, I was your own personal Ned Stark today…you don't have the right to hit a warrior!' Sheldon cried. Penny looked at Sheldon in confusion to which she received a frustrated sigh from him, 'Game of Thrones Penny. Season one, portrayed by the British actor Sean Bean. Bean also played Boromir in Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings.'

'I thought that was Virgo Mortensen.' Penny frowned, taking off the bump again.

'Ok, first off it's _Viggo_ not Virgo!'

'Whatever… they're both actors. What I fail to see is how has that got anything to do with Game of Thrones.'

'How has it…?! Penny, Ned start protects his family, he dies for his family… granted it's because King Joffrey goes back on his word and orders his execution and…'

Penny sighed and laid back, closing her eyes and pretending she was listening. She wasn't how long it was until she fell asleep but she was awake long enough to hear Sheldon's rant about the recasting of Daario Naharis and how he and Eddard Stark had similar qualities when it came to their current predicament.

* * *

Penny awoke late the next morning to find that the bed was empty and Sheldon was gone. 'Sheldon?' She called out… perhaps he was in the bathroom? She got up and looked around before screaming when the door opened and Sheldon walked in.

'My God Sheldon, you frightened me! How long have you been up?'

'Since 6am… I've been out walking.'

'6am! Why the hell were you awake at 6am?'

'Well, your snoring made it difficult to sleep.'

'Sheldon, I don't snore.'

'I had a feeling you would say that, so I recorded you on my phone,' he smirked before playing her the recording and to her horror, she was indeed snoring.

'Well it's not _that_ bad!' she said, trying to laugh it off.

'You were terrible!'

'Well at least that was the only night you were ever gonna sleep next to me,' Penny shrugged. Sheldon felt his heart sink slightly when she said that. As much he hated her snoring, having her sleep next to him felt really good and he kind of wanted it to happen again…. Well if she got that insufferable snoring under control, 'um what are you holding?' she added and he looked at her in confusion before he realised that she was referring to the bunch of flowers he had picked. He had read somewhere that women liked to be given flowers.

'These are for you. Social convention states that a man must give a woman he is courting appropriate gifts. Wild flowers sprung to mind… so here you go.'

'Oh Sheldon… that's so sweet, thank you,' Penny gasped, leaning forward and kissing Sheldon's cheek as she took the flowers from him.

'I'm glad you like them.'

'I do! They smell wonderful,' she said, inhaling their glorious scent. This must have been one of Sheldon's sweetest things he had ever done for her.

'Ah, the scent of a rose... curious how an aromatic chain of hydrocarbons can evoke our deepest emotions.' Sheldon smiled as he watched her.

'That was such a wonderful thought Sheldon, and what makes it more amazing is you did it without quoting from one of your superhero movies,' Penny smiled, walking over and taking the fake decorative flowers out of the vase and replacing them with the real wild flowers.

'So um, what are we doing today? Are we going to go straight home or do I have to spend more time with your boss?'

'I don't know… I suppose we could go shopping, or sunbathing, or you could chat some more with my boss. He seems to really like you and if he likes you that might up the way he treats me at work.'

'I cannot stand him though Penny… he damn right refused to even try Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock and he just talks about his cat. If Mrs Jarvis was zazzy I would be more open to talking about the cat but I'm not sure I can waste my genius much more on this baboon of a boss of yours.' Sheldon groaned.

'Look, it'll be for a couple of hours… tops. Anna and I will go shopping and to the pool and you just do what you want. You don't have to see Burkett, just occupy yourself whilst Anna and I go baby shopping.'

'Wouldn't it look good if I, as the father, accompanied you?'

'Sheldon, my baby needs to be dressed in stuff that will make her look good, knowing you you'll pick out a batman costume for her!'

'Batman costumes are great though,' Sheldon cried.

'Not on baby girls.'

'You know Penny, some men dedicate their lives to science and some men dedicate their lives to politics. I've already dedicated my life to physics but I'm thinking that maybe it's time I dedicated it to understanding you.'

**Thanks so much for your reviews everyone, I can't believe I'm already over 100 reviews with this story, you've been great! Thanks so much :] If anyone has any ideas on funny obstacles that Sheldon and Penny might have to overcome, just let me know and hopefully I can put some of them to good use! Anyway, let me know what you thought of this chapter, I tried to make it funny and lighthearted xxx **


	11. Chapter 11

'One thousand five hundred and ninety… two.' Sheldon sighed. He was sat in the bar at the golf club, staring at a plant in the corner whilst Burkett, Simon and a couple of Penny's colleagues all sat in silence around a table and seemed to be nursing hangovers.

'What?' Simon asked, looking at him as if he'd grown another head.

'Leaves on that plant,' Sheldon said, nodding towards it, 'there was only one thousand five hundred and three when we all sat down half an hour ago.'

'Oh don't talk such utter nonsense,' Burkett groaned, regretting the number of whisky's he had had last night.

'I'm telling you!' Sheldon cried, determined to prove his point but Burkett just shook his head.

'It's artificial Cooper.'

'Is it?' Sheldon gasped, taking a closer look before groaning.

'What now?'

'How much longer are we going to sit here before we do something? My buttocks are practically turning into fossilised fuel!'

'Go do something then, at the moment all we want is to sit here and nurse our poor heads Cooper!' Burkett growled, 'why don't you go out with your fiancée?'

'She's gone baby shopping with her friend Anna. Apparently picking out a batman outfit for a baby isn't the in thing to do.' Sheldon sighed, 'so she told me that I have to put up with you. If you lot hadn't decided to get drunk and stay up late last night we could be doing something fun right now, like playing dungeons and dragons.'

All of his company shot daggers at him, however Sheldon didn't take offense to it, in fact Simon wasn't even sure he noticed it. 'So Sheldon, tell us some things about Penny.'

'What would you like to know? How she… mooches off me? Because I can tell you a lot on that…. My wi fi, my milk and my food.'

'You don't live together?' Simon asked, his ears pricking up as he realised that without Penny around, he could probably get quite a bit out of Sheldon. He nudged Burkett, who nodded at him.

'No, she's my neighbour,' Sheldon shrugged before realising that he probably shouldn't have said that, 'Though, Penny and I are looking for places at the moment and when the baby comes we'll move into it.'

'So tell us more on your relationship with my receptionist,' Burkett asked, 'She hardly ever mentions you, I didn't know of your existence up until she revealed her pregnancy.'

'Um well, I first met Penny when she moved in next to mine and my roommate Leonard's apartment. At first it was Leonard she dated but that didn't work out, so I'll spare you the details. Penny… what can I say about Penny…well she'd always get on my nerves by doing things to annoy me, sometimes deliberately and sometimes not. She has always been able to challenge me and when you are a world expert and genius like myself, well it's nice to have someone to do that to you and that's one of her best qualities. She's not afraid to stand up to me and we balance each other. Penny's educational and intellectual deficiencies really makes my brain itch but she is the only person I know whom I have some degree of genuine, albeit grudging at times, respect for. We have our special things that we share; for example, Penny and I enjoy taking the stairs with one another. Penny gets to me like nobody has ever done and because of that, I've really come to appreciate her and consider her my closest friends as well as my lover. Fortunately for you, Penny brings out my nicer side and so I guess, over the years… I've been slowly falling in love with her and it just so happened that she reciprocated my feelings.' Sheldon said, shocking himself as he spoke. He found lying incredibly difficult without practice and a back story but here he was speaking as if it was the truth. It took a moment for his genius to catch up with him as he realised that he had been able to speak with such fluidity because a majority of that statement was true. He had fallen for Penny and he knew what their next question would be. 'Anyway gentleman, you are just boring me now, so I shall see you for lunch later. I think I'm going to go and call my fiancée,' Sheldon said, standing up and walking away.

'Well? What did you make of it?' Burkett asked and Simon frowned.

'Well he seemed genuine as he spoke, but his reaction. It was like he had had a revelation or something. I think they truly are in love, well Cooper definitely is. I'm not so sure about Penny.'

'I agree. Perhaps I shall ask Penny for a copy of her scan when we get back.'

* * *

'Oh this one is sooo cute!' Penny squealed, picking up a little pink baby outfit and adding it to her collection in her basket. Anna chewed her gum and looked at her friend, concern etched onto her brow.

'Penny, you know you're not really dropping a sprog right?' she said, raising an eyebrow. Penny looked at her and blinked.

'Um yeah, ofcourse. I just thought maybe if I came back with some baby clothes I'd be more convincing.' Penny said nervously. As much as she didn't want to admit it, she was enjoying being known as pregnant. She was feeling more happy and refreshed and thanks to Simon, she could potentially have a new job in his publishing company. She knew Anna could see straight through her though.

'You like being pregnant don't you.'

'You got me… I don't know, the fact that me and Sheldon are supposedly having a baby just makes me feel all excited and I feel maternal. I've been getting on better with people and I've even managed to put up with Burkett. It's making me a better person.'

'Haha! I can see… look… I know you said you liked Simon but I wanna discuss something with you hun,' Anna said, biting her lip. Penny frowned and looked at her friend.

'What's up?'

'Look, hun, I know you like Simon but yesterday when I saw Sheldon kiss you on the dance floor… it was just perfect and magical. You two… you're perfect for each other.' Anna said and Penny rolled her eyes.

'Not again Anna, I told you. Sheldon doesn't do emotions or relationships, let alone ones that are combined.'

'Penny, I'm gonna say this to you cause I'm your bezzie and this is what I'm here for. You and Sheldon…. You've got the right stuff. You guys are practically like something out of a movie. It's like the classic set up in a romantic comedy world between you two .You both constantly bicker and banter, you maintain an intense chemistry right up until the last scene, you're both attractive… and then yesterday, the unexpected but oh so anticipated kiss occurred.'

'Anna… I think you're still a bit tipsy.' Penny laughed, picking up another garment and looking at it.

'Penny!' Anna snatched the dress from Penny and looked at her, 'I'm being 100% serious. You say Sheldon doesn't do emotional relationships. It seems to me that you're forgetting the love he bears for his family and that he does actually like his friends. He cares, but he does it in his own way and I think you have to be an outsider, like myself, to see it,'

Penny frowned, realising that Anna did have a point. Anna took her silence as her digesting the information, so she continued, 'I think that he seems to regard his feelings very seriously and his perception of love and his ability to express it is just different in regards to the way others do. Can you honestly say that Sheldon doesn't care about his mother, his sister… his Meemaw… you? You said to me once that Leonard and the other nerds sabotaged his life's work when they were in the North Pole… can you honestly say that he wasn't actually hurt?'

'He did seem pretty upset… and he didn't mind me coming in his room…'

'My point exactly. You're the only person Sheldon has any respect for and I've seen it. When you and that Leonard dude broke up, Sheldon proactively sought to maintain his friendship with you, when your weird mute friend was gonna go back to Papa New Guinea…'

'India.'

'Whatever… India… Sheldon got him a job. When Sheldon and that other girl broke up, he had a nervous break down and ended up getting a gazillion cats because he missed her. What I'm trying to say Penny is that he does care. His friends and family do mean something to him and it's so blatantly obvious to me of his feelings for you. Perhaps he doesn't even know them himself yet but I can assure you they are there.'

'Ok fine, say they are there… what makes you think I even return them.'

'Well you could have labelled ANY guy as your baby's daddy but you chose Sheldon, you're still wearing the engagement ring when you don't have to, you enjoyed a steamy kiss yesterday, you're in here shopping for your "baby" when you're gonna be miscarrying soon… look me in the eyes and tell me there isn't some part of you that hasn't been wondering recently.'

Penny looked at Anna in the eyes but couldn't bring herself to say it so she ended up avoiding Anna's penetrative gaze, 'Anna as much as I love you, Sheldon and I would never work. Even if we wanted it to, we'd make each other crazy and we're polar opposites. I'm a not so smart outgoing waitress and he's a genius physicist who is socially dysfunctional.' Penny sighed.

'I reckon it's down to lack of proper social interaction. I mean he went from being in the fifth grade straight to college for Pete's sake babe. When I was at college, I remember being a total slut and getting it all out my system. That's what slutty college years are for… and I'm pretty sure that if there was a kid that had come straight out of the fifth grade in my class, I wouldn't be inviting him to a college party. He's just not familiar to social conventions but he can be taught to be… he's already learning… you said he brought you flowers this morning,' Anna smiled pointing to the rose that Penny had attached to her hair, 'Sheldon is Sheldon… he's gonna be himself and he is never gonna go and seek the approval of other people. I would snatch him up now if I were you Penny, else it's gonna be too late. I mean you were even just saying how much you enjoyed being "pregnant by him"… one day that could be true hun. You could one day be carrying a little Dr Cooper inside you.'

'You really are shipping for Sheldon and I aren't you.' Penny smiled.

'Well he's the leading man mate, no matter what his little idiosyncrasies are, his antisocial quirks. He's tall, smart, the best looking out of all your nerdy mates. I mean he's like the top dog of the group… they all follow his rules, even if they hate him for it or find them stupid, which granted…a lot of them are. Hun, I don't know why you're holding back… just give it a shot.'

'Ok, I'll think on it. You've made a persuasive argument… perhaps sleeping with James Richie has given you the ability to be a good lawyer,' Penny laughed.

'I try,' Anna grinned, 'now why don't you get the stuff and let's go back the golf thing and tan.'

'We can go swimming too and I can…'t wear my new bikini… damn it! I can't!'

'Well just wear clothes then and tan your arms and legs?'

'Yeah, I guess so… fuck this sucks so bad. Bloody pregnancy.' Penny let out a snort of frustration and Anna just laughed. They paid for their stuff and made their way back to the club and whilst on their journey, Penny sat deep in thought thinking about all the things that Anna had said. They all had an element of truth to. Perhaps it was time to find out for real this time.

**Sorry for the delay guys, I hope the chapter was worth your wait, let me know what your thoughts are. I've tried to incorporate funny and serious into one chapter. Thanks so much for all your previous reviews too… you guys are amazing xx**


	12. Chapter 12

Sheldon was bored. He was waiting with Simon in the bar for Penny and Anna and he was now on his third non alcoholic beverage, 'When do you think they'll be here?' Sheldon asked, sighing and Simon shrugged.

'I don't know… but I'm sure they're closer to getting here than they were two minutes ago when you last asked,' Simon growled through gritted teeth as he endured his love rival.

'She's so late….' Sheldon groaned.

'She's 7 minutes late, relax Cooper, we're in no hurry. Here have a drink,' Simon scoffed taking two whiskys off of a waiter's tray as he walked past.

'No thank you, I don't enjoy alcohol.' Sheldon said, turning his nose up. 'God, why do I have to be engaged to a woman who is always late? It's nearly as bad as dying…'

'Nothing is worse than dying.' Simon said, taking a swig of his drink and Sheldon frowned, shaking his head.

'No, I think that there is something worse than dying and that's living forever. I mean can you imagine just how terrible that would actually be? If I was just here forever and ever and ever…' Sheldon contemplated and Simon glared at him, shooting him a sideways glance.

'Yes.'

'Hey guys,' Penny's voice interrupted and Simon jumped up, smiling at her. He knew that he was supposed to be trying to find out if she was being deceptive but Simon couldn't help but fancy her… even if she was pregnant and engaged.

'Hey,' he smiled, grinning widely at her, 'you're looking beautiful this afternoon.'

Penny blushed and tucked her blonde hair behind her ear, 'Thank you Simon… I suppose we had best get going to lunch. Mr Burkett doesn't like to be kept waiting.'

Sheldon's eyes widened when he noticed that Penny was wearing a halter neck maxi dress and standing in the sun with nothing covering her shoulders. 'Penny! You can't be in the sun!' he cried, pulling her into the shade.

'Sheldon, we're indoors!'

'You are still in direct sunlight as UV rays still travel through the glass, thus breaching the dermal layer of your skin and thus heightening the potential to damage our child. You are a vessel for this baby and you need to be protected.'

'A vessel!' Penny gasped.

'Yes, your womb provides the nutrients needed for the successful growth of our child and by subjecting yourself to UV rays, our baby may suffer.' Sheldon cried but Penny just rolled her eyes.

'Stop being an overprotective idiot Sheldon.'

'Reverting to name calling suggests that you are being defensive and therefore find my opinion valid.'

'I wasn't asking for your opinion Sheldon, now come on… let's go.' Penny sighed and she walked ahead with Simon as Sheldon and Anna took the rear.

'Did I say something wrong?' Sheldon asked and Anna sighed.

'No, I just think she's having a hard time keeping up this charade.' Anna said as the four of them entered the dining room and Sheldon grimaced when a strange man came up to them and began to speak.

'Good afternoon ladies and gentleman, I'm Robin, the maître d' of this restaurant and I am here to help you and attend to your needs.' He said and Penny smiled at him.

'Thank you, we're part of the Burkett party,' Penny said and he nodded.

'Ofcourse, let me just take your names so I can cross them off the guest list,' Robin said and each one of them gave him their name, 'now is there anything else you need or wish me to do for you, let me know.' He grinned before engaging in a bit of small talk with Penny and Simon.

Sheldon rolled his eyes and decided he that he needed to interrupt as they did not have time for this. In addition this man was so over the top, sycophantic and obsequious that it made him sick to the stomach, 'Robin, we appreciate your help but there's a reason your name is Robin and not Batman, so will you just show us to our table.'

Everyone looked at him in shock, not knowing what to say. The maître d' forced a smile onto his face and nodded. 'Of course sir,' he said through gritted teeth, 'right this way.' He then showed them to the table. Penny grabbed Sheldon and pulled him into a hug.

'I hope you know how utterly rude you were to that poor guy. You could have been nice; he was only doing his job!' she hissed in his ear, 'I swear to god Sheldon, going out with you is worse than taking a child out for the day, I don't know why you aren't on reigns now please just behave!' She then released him with a large smile on her face before taking a seat next to Simon. Anna frowned as she watched the altercation between the two. Penny looked angry and Sheldon was left standing there, just blinking before he took his seat, deliberately leaving a space free between himself and Penny. Anna decided that she would fill it and noticed that other people had also noticed.

'Are you ok?' Anna asked Sheldon and he nodded.

'I'm fine, why does it look like there's something wrong?' he said, sipping back the wine that was on the table. Anna sighed and decided to leave it be; besides they'd be leaving soon.

The conversation was smooth throughout the table and all but one person was laughing and talking and that was Sheldon. He didn't want to admit it but Penny's words had actually really hurt him… was he really worse than a child in her eyes? Perhaps that's why he and her could never be and with that thought in his mind, he finished off his fourth glass of wine.

'So Sheldon, we've hardly heard two words from you this whole time,' Burkett laughed and Sheldon looked at him and shrugged.

'I have nothing to say,' he said, a slight slur to his words and he carried on eating. Anna looked at her friend's "fiancé" with worry before turning to look at Penny who was engaged in conversation with Simon, giggling and blushing.

'So Penny, tell us how you and Sheldon got together!' Lisa laughed as she sat opposite Penny and next to her own husband.

'Yes, do tell us,' Burkett smiled, his eyes gleaming. Penny smiled and looked at Sheldon, who was just playing with the food on his plate.

'Well, it's kind of a funny story,' she laughed, racking her brain to think of something. Soon enough an idea popped into her head and she rolled with it, 'Obviously Sheldon and I were just neighbours before we got together and one evening, I threw a party for our mutual friend Rajesh's birthday. I remember it like it was yesterday. I had a drink in my left hand and I looked over to where the tv was and I saw this dashing man with a head of luxurious dark brown hair. I kept my eyes on him all night and I really found myself thinking perhaps I should flirt with him because that was what my gut was telling me to do… so I smiled at him and batted my eyelashes all night. And then, just after midnight there was a power cut. We'd both had far too much to drink, at least I knew I had, so I seized my chance. I dashed across the room, grabbed his hand and dragged him into to my bedroom, which I had made off limits to guests. It took him a while to get into it but after a while we just yknow relaxed into it and then when it was over, we kissed, dusted ourselves down and went back to the party holding hands. When the lights came on, I remember I just stood there before I turned and I looked at him. It was then that I realised that… I had grabbed hold of the wrong person. Ryan Gilbert was just leaving with a different girl,' Penny laughed, 'but nevertheless it soon hit me that I was glad it was Sheldon and not Ryan. It kind of shocked me to find that I had to have spent an intimate night with him to realise that all our flirting, our banter… everything… it was just our way of telling each other that we were in love,' Penny sipped her water, wishing it was wine. Penny smiled as her colleagues chuckled. Their second course of the set meal had now been served and Sheldon tucked in without a word, whilst everyone else continued to talk.

'Well that certainly is an interesting way to realise your love for someone,' Lisa laughed and she looked over at Sheldon, who had just finished eating a pickle off of his plate. 'How did you react when you found that initially Penny had wanted Ryan Sheldon?'

Sheldon looked at Lisa and swallowed, 'Oh… It was amusing. Are you going to eat your pickle?' he asked and Lisa found herself a bit lost for words.

'Um no… here,' she said offering it to him on her side plate.

'Thank you,' he said, before quickly eating it. He ignored everyone as they began to talk again and turned to Anna, 'Anna are you going to eat your pickle?'

Anna looked at Sheldon and nudged Penny, who looked at him in shock and bewilderment, 'Help yourself,' Anna said pushing her plate forward. Sheldon pierced his fork into the pickle and began to eat it.

'Sheldon,' Penny hissed but he ignored her.

'Mr Burkett, are you going to eat your pickle?' Sheldon said, looking at Burkett. Burkett paused from his conversation with Simon and looked at Sheldon.

'Yes I am,' he smiled forcefully and Sheldon's face dropped in disappointment, watching as Burkett went back to his conversation with Simon. After about thirty seconds, he began to get impatient.

'You're not eating it,' Sheldon said, annoyance laced within his voice. Everyone at Burkett's end of the table looked at Sheldon, some trying to conceal their bemusement, others looking on in bafflement.

'I'll eat it when I feel like it.'

'Mr Burkett… Ronald… if you don't want it, there's no reason to let it go to waste.'

'Sheldon!' Penny cried, 'It's his pickle!'

'It's just lying there though!' Sheldon whined and Burkett flared his nostrils in infuriation.

'Of course it's just lying there.'

'Then why can't I have it?'

'Sheldon!' Penny was mortified beyond belief now. Sheldon looked at her but decided to ignore her again.

'You have no intention at all of eating that pickle!' he exclaimed.

'I'm not getting into an argument over a pickle,' Burkett growled and Sheldon stood up slightly.

'I DEMAND YOUR PICKLE!'

'SHELDON!' Penny yelled, standing up also, 'everyone, if you'll excuse us for a moment,' she grabbed Sheldon and pulled him outside. 'What the HELL is wrong with you!'

'Nothing, I just wanted his pickle. I enjoy them and he wasn't eating his… it seemed a shame to let it go to waste.' Sheldon shrugged.

'Sheldon, your actions in there were perverse!' Penny cried in exasperation.

'I don't see how... all I wanted was his pickle; I had no other need.' Sheldon shrugged and Penny glared at him.

'What you need is some editing skills in your self expression. Between your impulses and your actions there is a realm of restraint just begging for your attention.'

'And I find your self expression ponderous,' Sheldon said haughtily.

'I don't think I can deal with this for another four months,' Penny grimaced, rubbing her temples.

'Then perhaps we can devise a scheme to avoid one another,' Sheldon huffed and Penny glared at him.

'As much as I'd like that, it's not that simple. You're still known as my fiancé and the father to this child and you and I have to continue to make appearances.'

'We can minimise those appearances,' Sheldon said through gritted teeth, 'you much prefer Simon's company to mine anyway.'

'Oh shut up Sheldon. The only reason I prefer Simon to you is because he's normal, kind and mature. He acts his age and doesn't play with fucking toys.'

'They are not fucking toys and I do not play with them! I'll have you know that they are kept in their original packaging and that's why they are so valuable!'

'Yeah, like some boxed up action figure is valuable.' Penny rolled her eyes.

'Boxed up action figure? That is IRON MAN you are talking about! I got him when I was in the second grade and do you know how hard it is for a kid to not open that?! Once you damage the box, you compromise the integrity of the item.'

'Ok fine, whatever. It's still a boxed item, now get your butt back inside and apologise to my boss!'

'You can forget that Penny! You have insulted me, you have insulted Iron Man, you've tried to change me and mould me into someone that I am not… I can't just change like that for you! I'm done with this… from now on, I am no longer part of this sick little act you have going on and I shouldn't have to subject myself to you bitchy behaviour. Good luck Penny because I'm done. It's over.' Sheldon then turned on his heel and began to walk away.

'Where are you going?!' Penny yelled after him.

'Home! And away from you!'

'You can't do this to me!'

'Watch me!'

Penny huffed and walked back to the dining room. She sat down, realising that she'd have to fake being upset so she thought of everything that made her cry and she soon began to well up.

'Penny, darling what's up?' Lisa gasped, 'Where's Sheldon.'

'He's going home.' Penny sniffed and she felt Simon put an arm around her.

'It's gonna be ok Penny,' Lisa smiled and Penny shook her head.

'No! Don't you see, he's left me! He called off our relationship… I'm gonna be a single mom!' Penny then thought of the worst thing possible and began to cry. She tucked her head into Simon's shoulder and cried, all the time thinking what she was going to do now, especially if Sheldon let her secret slip.

**Oh dear haha let me know what you think and thank you so much for your reviews, it's so uplifting to read them! xx**


	13. Chapter 13

'Alright, you gonna tell me what's going on?' Anna asked lighting up a cigarette as she and Penny waited for a taxi.

'What do you mean?' Penny asked.

'Penny, I'm not stupid so don't bullshit with me… now cut the crap and tell me what happened with Sheldon! Why'd he walk out?' Anna glared at her friend and Penny sighed in defeat.

'Fine. I basically told him off for him picking an argument with Burkett over that bloody pickle and that he needed to show a bit of restraint on what he said to people. He said perhaps we should avoid one another and minimise our appearances together and then he went on to say that I preferred Simon's company to his.' Penny scoffed.

'Well do you?' Anna took another drag on her cigarette.

'Yeah, and I told him that. Simon is normal, kind and mature and he doesn't play with toys and I told Sheldon that!'

Anna's cigarette dropped from her mouth, 'You… you said that to Sheldon?'

'Yeah and then we had some stupid argument over his toys. He was on about why they weren't toys because they were in original packaging and he actually swore. I have never heard Sheldon swear, he said fucking…' Penny sighed before shrugging, 'and then when I asked him to go back and apologise, he said that he wanted no further part of my pregnancy because I'd insulted him and Iron Man and I've been trying to change him and then…. he left.'

Anna shook her head and opened her mouth to speak but was cut off as Simon pulled up in a white Bentley Continental GTC. 'Hey Penny, I need a passenger to test out my new wheels. I ordered this baby about six months ago but when I was told it would be ready today, I had it delivered here so… fancy a ride?'

'Wow, it's gorgeous!'

'Yep, 6 litre engine with 500 break horse power, I just need to name her,' Simon grinned, 'I was thinking of calling her Penny.'

'Really?'

'Yep, so come on, get your bags and you and your friend can hop in.'

'No thanks. I think we're going to stick to the cab aren't we Penny,' Anna said through gritted teeth and with a forced smile. Penny looked at Simon, then at Anna and then back to Simon.

'You go park up the car and I'll meet you in a bit,' she grinned before walking over to Anna and their bags and reaching for them.

'You're going with him?' Anna gasped and Penny nodded.

'Yeah, it's a Bentley Anna! And it beats waiting for a taxi… come on. Look, I know you don't like him but I do so just come with me,' Penny laughed but it soon stopped when she saw Anna's face.

'You know what Penny. You should go with him because nothing I can say will get through your thick lovesick skull. I thought I had gotten through to you earlier when I told you about Sheldon being in love with you but obviously not. Since you started this stupid lie and you've gone goo goo over Simon…you've changed. This pregnancy was supposed to be a week thing, two tops but here you are: still pregnant. I hardly know you anymore; the Penny I know would've turned her nose up and said a man who drives a car like a Bentley is only trying to compensate for something else. But you know what… whatever. Ah look… here comes our, well my taxi. You get in your Bentley and I'll get in my taxi because I am sick of your shit.'

'Anna, what's gotten into you?!'

'Some sense! _Your_ problem, Penny, is that you just don't understand that you can really hurt people! I mean look what you did to Sheldon. All he did was try to help you and you were just rude to him, bordering plain nasty. Actually scratch that… you were a total bitch to him. I mean you don't even realise that the blatantly obvious reason he left was because you told him that you prefer Simon to him. And even now you won't even give up that same guy to have a ride back with your best friend. You know what…' Anna picked up her bags and looked at her friend, 'call me when the Penny I know stops using her ass as a hat and comes back because this one… she's just a strange bitch that I don't know at all and I frankly don't have time for people like that.' Anna then gave her bags to the taxi man and got in the car.

'Anna!' Penny cried, 'Anna wait!' Penny pulled the door of the taxi open, 'Anna stop.'

'Fuck off Penny, I don't want to talk to you right now.'

'Please, please I'm sorry!'

'Can you just drive please,' Anna said to the taxi driver, ignoring Penny.

'Anna!' Penny cried before she had the car door slammed in her face. 'ANNA COME BACK HERE!' She cried before flopping down on the side of the pavement as the car screeched away. Burying her head in her hands, she began to cry. Anna had never spoken to her like that before!

'Penny? Are you ok?' came the voice of Simon as he walked over.

'Does it look like I'm ok? My fiancé left me and now my best friend has too!'

'Oh sweetheart, don't worry, you still have me,' Simon said, cuddling her. Penny sniffed and nodded before letting him help her to her feet, 'Did you want to get a bite to eat?'

'No, just take me home please,' Penny mumbled before sitting down in the car. The journey home was quiet and even Simon knew it would be best not to speak.

* * *

Penny tore off the pregnancy bump and changed into a normal set of clothing before pouring herself a jug of wine and downing it. It felt good to have the alcohol calm her nerves so she decided that she needed to get drunk after today's events and then she'd go and talk to Sheldon and clear the air. She jumped when the door knocked three times though.

'Sheldon,' she whispered to herself and she ran to open the door only to be dismayed when it revealed Leonard, 'Oh, hey Leonard.'

'I need to speak to you.' Leonard said with a serious look on his face and Penny nodded, standing aside so he could come in. Penny then shut the door behind him and sat down on the couch, taking another gulp of wine, 'Would you mind explaining to me why my roommate phoned me up and said that he would not be returning home today because he was on a flight to Texas?'

'He's gone to Texas?'

'Yes, he's gone to stay with him mom because apparently you two had a massive fight? Now would you kindly explain to me what happened?'

'Leonard, I really don't want to talk about it,' Penny sighed, moving to take another sip of wine but Leonard snatched it out of her hand.

'Tell me what's happened,' he said with annoyance and Penny shook her head.

'I'll tell you when I feel like it Leonard. I don't see how it's any of your business anyway… now get out of my apartment,' Penny growled, snatching the wine back. Leonard sighed and walked out with another word. He went straight over to his apartment and picked up the phone and dialled a number.

'_Hello?'_

'Hi Amy, its Leonard… is there any way you could possibly grab the next flight over here?'

**So I decided to throw a bit of beef into the mixture haha hope you enjoyed it! Let me know what you think my amazing reviewers! xx**


	14. Chapter 14

Leonard sat at the airport waiting for Amy's delayed flight to arrive. After half an hour of waiting, Amy finally entered the arrivals area and when Leonard saw her, he gave her a large hug. 'Amy, you have no idea how happy I am to see you,' Leonard cried.

'Leonard, you're just lucky that I'm going to be sent out to AstraZeneca's Wilmington site in a three days to take part in an audit and that they let me go early so this had better be a pretty dire situation.' Amy sighed, throwing her luggage at him.

'It's good to see you too, how's London?'

'Sorry Leonard, I'm just cranky from the flight. It's great over there… As much as I miss you all, taking a job over there is just… it's just amazing, I love it,' Amy smiled.

'Well, I'm glad you're enjoying it.' Leonard smiled.

'Now, tell me what's going on?'

'Long story short: Penny faked a pregnancy to escape being fired and named Sheldon as the father and her fiancé. They went to her company retreat and had a massive fight ending in Sheldon going to Texas and Penny shutting herself away. Apparently her boss told her to take the week off because he thinks she's now going to be a single mother. I can't talk any sense into her and I called you because you are the only one who can,' Leonard sighed and Amy nodded.

'Sounds like a pretty shitty situation but… I'll see what I can do.'

'Thanks, you're a star Amy. Of course, you're welcome to have my bedroom, or you can stay in Sheldon's since its empty,' Leonard smiled and Amy thanked him.

'Well I don't want to chuck you out of your bed so I would stay in Sheldon's but then again we both know Sheldon would notice and you could violate some unknown clause of the roommate agreement,' Amy laughed, 'but thank you anyway. Now, let's go see what's going on with Penny.'

* * *

Amy smiled as she climbed the steps of the apartment block and it felt nice to remember that she used to do this all the time. When she arrived outside apartment 4A, she smiled… all her happy memories just came flowing back.

'I suppose I had best get over to Penny's then. I'll be back soon,' Amy smiled before walking across the hall. Meanwhile, Penny had been watching Titanic and was crying at the scene where Rose let's go of Jack.

'I'll never let go… I promise,' she whispered at the same times as Rose, tears running down her cheeks. She jumped when someone rapped on the door and paused the tv, wiping her eyes before opening the door. 'Amy?' she gasped in shock.

'I'm coming in,' Amy said, walking past her bestie.

'What are you doing here?' Penny asked, 'When did you come back? When did you get here? Are you back here for good or just visiting?'

'I'm just making a house call, staging an intervention if you will.' Amy said, sitting down on the couch as Penny took the seat beside her, 'Now are you gonna tell me why Leonard called me up telling me I needed to fly 8 hours across the Atlantic to talk some sense into you?'

Penny scoffed, 'You didn't need to do that at all Ames.'

'Well I'll be the judge of that, now tell me what's wrong?'

'Alright fine, what do you want me to tell you Amy? That I can't get off the couch or stop watching sad movies? I faked a pregnancy so I wouldn't get fired from my job and now that's turned to pot so I probably will get fired? My car has gone bust, I can't get an acting job, I unknowingly broke Sheldon's heart and he's gone home to Texas, I'm not allowed to go out with the guy I like, I had a major fight with one of my best friends so now I no longer have any friends er, I can't…'

'You know what I find interesting about that Penny? It's interesting to me that you have no friends; and do you want to know why that's interesting? Well, here's a friend standing directly in front of you, a friend who has flown 8 hours to be here and is trying to talk to you and you choose to talk about the fact that you don't have any friends.' Amy said and Penny sighed.

'Amy, no… I didn't mean…'

'No,' Amy cut her off, 'no…I think you just want to have a little pity party as opposed to confronting your problems. You don't want to feel better… I think Penny wants a little pity party.' Amy said poking Penny before standing up and shoving her so that she toppled flat on the soda.

'Shit Amy! What the fuck was that for?!' Penny cried as Amy clambered on top of her.

'You're a bitch Penny!'

'Amy, what are you doing?! Get off me!'

'You're a bitch and I'm life, is life bothering you Penny?' Amy asked, continuing to poke her, 'I'm life Penny, I'm your life.'

'Ow, Amy stop!'

'Fight back Penny! You'd better learn to fight for your life because nobody else is going to! I'm life and I'm going to bite you in the ass!' Amy cried, biting Penny's behind and she yelped in pain.

'Aghhh! Amy!'

'It's not me, It's your life. I'm trying to get you to fight for your shitty life. And you won't do it, you just won't do it!' Amy cried, grabbing Penny's hand and making it hit her face, 'stop hitting yourself Penny, stop hitting yourself! I'm your life Penny; I'm your shitty life and you have to take control and fight against it!'

'Amy STOP!' Penny cried, before smacking Amy. Amy stopped and looked at Penny, 'Amy, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry… I didn't mean to…'

'Nice hit…' Amy said before patting her friend's knee, 'I'm glad to see you've got some sort of spark still in you. I think perhaps it's now time that I told you about a girl, a girl called Amy. When I say Amy, I'm referring to myself as Amy.'

'Yeah, I know,' Penny whispered.

'You might look at me Penny and think wow, a girl like Amy… she must have breezed through high school and college but no,' Amy shook her head, 'it was not easy at all. I was called names like Amy four eyes, science geek, nerd… they called me a freak and they said really hurtful things to me. Do you think that I let it break me? Do you think I went home and cried to my mom saying "oh I don't have any friends, Amy doesn't have any friends". Do you think I just sat around watching sad movies and feeling sorry for myself? Well no… no I didn't. I pulled myself together, I continued to be myself, I studied really hard and I got into a really good university and now? I work for AstraZeneca and I get to travel the world. I get to dissect brains and give menthol cigarette's to monkeys! Do you know how cool that is… brains are just fascinating! I also managed to date a world expert in string theory for three years and where are those people that bullied me now? They're working in diners and other low paid jobs. You can do it Penny… you got yourself into this mess; it's now time to get out of it. You're your problem Penny, but you're also your solution and it's up to you to make everything right again. And I would start by making up with your friend.'

'Oh Amy, I don't know what to do,' Penny wept, throwing herself into Amy's arms. Amy pushed her away and looked into her eyes.

'You pick up that phone and you call your friend and you apologise,' she said forcefully. Penny nodded and took the phone that Amy handed to her.

'What if she doesn't want to talk to me?' she whispered and Amy shrugged.

'Then at least you can say you tried.'

Penny nodded and dialled Anna's number, putting it on loudspeaker, 'Hey… it's me.' She said quietly.

'_Yeah I know… I've got caller ID.'_

'Look, I um… are you still mad at me or can we talk?' Penny asked and there was a pause on the other end of the line.

'_Do you even know why I'm mad?'_

'I was a total bitch to you… I shouldn't have gone with Simon in his Bentley, I should have been nicer to Sheldon and you were right… about everything. I'm sorry… I'm so sorry!' Penny broke down into tears and her friend sighed.

'_How about… we go out for coffee and a massage and we'll talk more then.'_

'Ok…' Penny whispered, 'Just text me when and where.'

'_Ok_.' Anna then hung up and Penny sobbed on Amy.

'She still hates me… she just hung up!'

'Give her time my beautiful blonde bombshell… don't forget she did say that you two should go out for coffee and a massage.' Amy smiled as Penny's phone beeped with a message from Anna, 'See? She said she'd text you and she did. Remember Penny… you are you own solution. Don't think that your friend has forgiven you just yet though because you still have to prove it and you've really got to plan how you're going to apologise to Sheldon.' Amy stood up and looked around Penny's apartment, sighing, 'Bestie… you really have to clean this place up. For one, you're kitchen really needs replacing… its old and outdated,' Amy laughed. Penny frowned and walked into her kitchenette.

'Don't be silly Amy… this kitchen has served me well for the past seven years,' Penny said, feeling the countertops, 'Its fully functional and still 100% intact… see?' Penny slammed her hand down a couple of times and Amy tried to hold back a laugh when the cupboard door fell off its hinges. Penny looked at the cupboard door and blinked before turning to look at Amy, 'See… it's even got automatic cupboards... outdated my ass.' Penny locked eyes with Amy and they both giggled.

'It's nice to see a smile back on your face… don't worry Penny. Things will get better.'

**Thanks so much for your reviews guys, I hope you enjoyed the chapter. I was influenced by the movie Bridesmaids for Amy's pep speech to Penny, I thought it fitted well! Anyway, let me know what you think and enjoy the rest of your day! xx**


	15. Chapter 15

It was sad for Penny to see Amy leave but having her around the past couple of days had really made her feel better. Amy truly was the only person who was straight talking with her. She gave her tough love and that's what Penny needed. So here she was, sitting in her living room. Trying to figure out what on earth she could do to make it up to Sheldon.

Penny flopped back against the sofa, picked up her phone and dialled Sheldon's number. It rang a few before going to the answer phone.

'_Hello, this is Sheldon Cooper's mobile phone; I'm not taking your call because I'm trying to avoid somebody I don't like. Please leave your number, and if I don't call back, it's you.'_

Penny sighed and waited for the answer phone to beep, 'Hi Sheldon… it's me. Um… I really need to talk to you so call me back.' Penny then hung up the phone and sighed. She had sounded so stupid and his answerphone made it clear that she was the one he didn't want to speak to so of course he wouldn't call her back. She'd have to get through to him the only way she knew how: by getting on his nerves and the best way to do that would to leave him a tonne of random voicemails. Even if he didn't listen, she knew that he would eventually cave because having his phone bleep every few minutes would definitely drive him up the wall. Biting her lip, she dialled his number again.

'_Hello, this is Sheldon Cooper's mobile phone; I'm not taking your call because I'm trying to avoid somebody I don't like. Please leave your number, and if I don't call back, it's you.'_

'Hi Sheldon it's me again. I know I asked you to call me back but I figured that you wouldn't so I'm gonna keep calling you till you pick up.' Penny hung up and then poured herself a large glass of wine because she knew she'd be here for a while. Getting her wine, her snacks, her caffeine pills and her phone ready, she threw herself on the couch in her penguin onesie and dialled Sheldon's number again. Looking at the time as it rang, she knew she'd be in for a long night as the clock read only 8.37pm.

'_Hello, this is Sheldon Cooper's mobile phone; I'm not taking your call because I'm trying to avoid somebody I don't like. Please leave your number, and if I don't call back, it's you.'_

'So I'm a strong believer in friendship and I'm not going anywhere until we've talked. So if you think I'm gonna give up, you're wrong. You wanna know why? Because I will NOT back down…. EVER! I won a shit load of radio contests just because I refused to get off the line!'

_9.02pm_

'If we went to a Halloween party dressed as Batman and Robin, I'd go as Robin because that's how much you mean to me.'

_9.16pm_

'Hey Sheldon… I'm still totally sober so give us a call.'

_9.43pm_

'Hey, you know how they say that money doesn't grow on trees… well they're right, it doesn't.'

_10.28pm_

'Hey Sheldon, it's me again… I just won the lottery and I'm gonna be buying myself some friends. I want you to know that you won't be one of them because you are worth more than money to me.'

_10.31pm_

'Yesterday, I was had a really vivid dream in which I had to take a penalty kick to win the World Cup for the USA. I took the kick, but in reality, I smashed my foot against my bedroom wall and sprained four of my toes. I also missed the kick in my dream. I was devastated.'

_11.09pm_

'What's a pirates favourite letter of the alphabet? Most people would say R but in fact it's C because they enjoy the sea. Though some would dispute this and say X because X marks the spot.'

_11.43pm_

'Sheldon, please call me back. You can try to ignore me but I won't stop until you answer.'

_12.07pm_

'I know it's past your bedtime now, since you're two hours behind but I'm gonna keep calling and not even you can sleep through the sound of your phone buzzing, so please Sheldon sweetie, just pick up.'

After three more hours of continuous voicemails to Sheldon's phone, Penny was tired. She picked up her phone for her last phone call of the evening.

'_Hello, this is Sheldon Cooper's mobile phone; I'm not taking your call because I'm trying to avoid somebody I don't like. Please leave your number, and if I don't call back, it's you.'_

'Sheldon… I know you're getting my calls and its fine with me now that you've chosen not to pick up,' Penny sniffled and wiped away a tear that had started to make its way down her cheek, it's ten past three in the morning here and I er… I'm gonna go to sleep now. I'm so sorry Sheldon… I never meant to hurt you. I didn't realise how much you meant to me until I found myself sitting here alone… Sheldon-less. Every knock on the door I hope to hear two more follow with my name. I'm not going to give up Sheldon. I'm gonna do whatever it takes to make it up to you and…' Penny was cut short when there was a fumbling sound on the line and she heard breathing, 'Sheldon? Is that you?'

'This is his mother Penny. I would ask that you don't call Shelly's mobile at one o'clock in the morning. I will have Shelly give you a phone call in the morning, now goodnight.' The line then went dead and Penny blinked. At least she had gotten something out of the past several hours of non stop calling: a chance. Mary Cooper said she'd get Sheldon to call her and if there was one thing that Mary Cooper could do, it was always got Sheldon to do what she wanted him to do. With that in mind, Penny found that she could go to sleep that little bit easier and with a glimmer of hope that tomorrow would be a good day for her. She and Anna had their massage date and now she would be receiving a phone call from Sheldon. She closed her eyes and wished sleep upon herself so time would pass quickly and the morning would arrive.

**Can't believe it's been a month since I started this story! Time goes quickly so happy month anniversary to my lovely readers, thanks so much for reading my story and taking the time to review. I'm sorry it's short but I have a nice long chapter for you up next :] So let me know what you thought. I tried to add a bit of humour to this chapter so I hope you like it! xx**


	16. Chapter 16

Penny looked at her phone for the sixth time in ten minutes before looking up at the clock to see that it had just gone past 12pm. To her dismay…there was still no call from Sheldon. Penny sighed and strapped the 5 month stomach, which she had switched the other one for the other day, to her. Pulling on some clothes, she decided that it was time for her to go out and do something as there was no use her just sitting around at home. Penny opened her front door and made her way to the mall for a bit of retail therapy. Shopping usually made her feel a bit happier but today it wasn't really working. She bought herself an iced tea and sat down, wondering if Sheldon would ever call. Sighing, she dialled his number again.

'_Hello, this is Sheldon Cooper's mobile phone; I'm not taking your call because I'm trying to avoid somebody I don't like. Please leave your number, and if I don't call you back, it's you.'_

'Hi Sheldon, it's me again. I'm guessing your mother has been unsuccessful in trying to convince you to contact me. Please just… just call me back. If you haven't called me back in the next hour or so, I'll be booking a flight to Texas. I'm not giving up Sheldon, I'm going to speak to you. It can be over the phone or face to face, I don't care. It's going to happen. Now please… just call me back.' Penny sighed and hung up the phone. Placing her hands in her head, she sat at her table at a loss at what she should do.

'Penny? What are you doing here?' Penny looked up and saw Simon standing beside her, holding his briefcase in one hand and a coffee in the other.

'Oh, I got bored sitting at home doing nothing, so I thought I'd go out. What are you doing here? I thought you'd be at the office. Isn't your father leaving for his big case today?'

'No, he's leaving tomorrow. I'm actually on my way to the business meeting I told you about… the one with Rachel Day?'

'Oh yes, the pregnant lady.'

'Would you like to come along?' Penny looked down at her phone to see there was still no message from Sheldon, 'I take it you and Sheldon are still going through a rough patch.'

'Yes, I um, I've been trying to call him but he won't respond at all. I really think it might be over now.'

'Then forget him Penny. You can't mope about doing nothing all day. Come to this business meeting with me, I think you'd be an asset to securing this deal with Day. I'll explain more when we get there.' Simon said and Penny looked at him before nodding.

'You're right, I have nothing better to do. Let's go.' Penny smiled and together they walked towards a nice little restaurant, 'Wow, I didn't know this place even existed!'

'Yes, it's one of my favourite places to go. Perhaps I could take you sometime?' Simon asked and Penny nodded.

'I'd like that.' She grinned before taking their seat and waiting for the author to arrive, 'I can't believe you found me just sitting there doing nothing in the mall. I used to be such a carpe diem person… er but not anymore. Cause I'm pregnant.' Penny let out a nervous laugh. Simon smiled at her.

'Of course and that's why I brought you today. Before Rachel arrives, I'm just going to fill you in about what the meeting today is about ok?'

'O..K?'

'Well, Rachel Day has written this hilarious book on pregnancy. It's got true stories about women who are pregnant and getting stuck in their bath tubs and throwing up under their desks at work and all the different sort of things that you must know more about than me.' Simon laughed and Penny let out a nervous giggle.

'Yeah… er totally.'

'Anyway, I want my company to publish Rachel's book and unfortunately Rachel doesn't think that we're the right people to do it, which is why I need you… you might help convince her otherwise.'

'Yeah, um sure. I'll do my best.'

'One other thing, this is an Editor's meeting so Rachel is going to think you're an editor.'

'What!' Penny cried her jaw dropping, 'But I'm just a secretary… I know nothing on how to edit books! You're the top guy around here… I mean you do law AND publishing. I just pour coffee and type notes!'

'No you don't Penny, you're cleverer than you think.' Simon smiled, pushing his glasses back, 'Just relax and play it by ear.' He smiled before standing up. Penny turned to see a pregnant lady walking, well waddling, towards them. She must've been about 6 or 7 months pregnant. 'Rachel, how lovely to see you.'

'Nice to see you too Simon… So! Shall we get down to business?' Rachel said, lowering herself into her seat.

'Of course, Rachel, this is Penny, one of my editors in my company. She's pregnant just like yourself and will be heading the new maternity department.'

'Lovely to meet you Penny,' Rachel said, shaking her hand and Penny smiled.

'Likewise.'

'How far along are you?'

'5 months, you?'

'I'm 6 ½ myself.' Rachel laughed and after about twenty minutes of conversation, the business talk began to set in and for the first time in her life, Penny felt important. It felt nice to be thought of as an editor and being spoken to with respect. 'What I find about most pregnancy books is that they make you feel totally inadequate, like you're destined for failure to be a parent before you've even started. No one write about what pregnancy is really like, how you feel fat and unattractive and clumsy and stupid. The worst one I found is "What to Expect when you're Expecting",' Rachel said before looking at Penny directly, 'Have your read that Penny?'

Penny swallowed, racking her brain in an attempt to come up with something to say, 'Oh, no I was told it was so bad I shouldn't go near it.'

'Then someone told you some good advice! That one scared me the most! We, my husband and I, found that book to just be wrong in every possible way when it came to giving a good outlook on pregnancy. I know it's a super popular book but it gives horribly inaccurate information about things like VBAC…even in their more up-to-date and revised copies.'

'VBAC?' Penny asked and Rachel blinked.

'Vaginal Birth After Caesarean,' she said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, 'So tell me Penny… out of curiosity… what _are_ you reading?'

'Oh um… you know, just the usual ones.'

'Like…?'

'Well I was banking on um...' Penny averted her gaze to the left to see someone reading "Algebra for Dummies", 'Pregnancy for Dummies… I love that series.' Penny let out a nervous laugh and took a sip of her water. Rachel looked at Penny and leaned back in her chair.

'Huh… interesting.' She said before turning back to Simon, 'Come on Simon… how can you guys sell my book if you aren't even familiar with the competition out there?'

'Well… Penny's had a pretty full workload recently, especially bad in the personal department.' Simon said, but Rachel shook her head.

'Even so… I don't know guys… I don't know if this is the right marriage.'

'Rachel, I promise you it is. Sure we've got a couple of leaks that need fixing but we can do that. We've made successes out of previously poorly received books and that isn't easy.' Simon said, trying to salvage the situation but Rachel still didn't look convinced.

'Look Rachel, the thing about pregnancy is that it's incredibly messy and all those other books are teaching you how to avoid the mess,' Penny said, jumping in suddenly and surprising herself, 'but you're embracing the mess. You've written an incredible and insightful, hilarious and controversial manifesto and just… just give us a shot. It's got best seller written all over it.' Penny said and Simon looked at her with a look of shock mixed with impressed on his face, 'I promise you that we won't let you down.'

Rachel looked at Penny, 'So you've read it?'

'Oh yes, lived it, loved it, it's really a great book.' Penny smiled whilst Rachel picked up her glass and took a sip of water.

'Let me think about it.' Rachel said, 'Oh, I'm taking a new birthing class tomorrow, maybe you could take half the day off and come with me?'

Penny opened her mouth to decline but Simon spoke before her, 'Of course, she'll be there.'

'Oh and bring your partner,' Rachel smiled and there was a sudden awkward silence.

'Um, Penny's partner left her a few days ago.' Simon said and Rachel looked mortified as she set her glass down.

'Oh gosh, I'm so sorry… I didn't know! That must be terrible for you! What happened, if you don't mind me asking?'

'Um… we were together for like two years.'

'I thought you told my father it was three?' Simon said, taking a mental note and Penny blinked.

'Yeah, well we were seeing each other for a year but then we were exclusive for two is what I meant to say but yeah three years in total. And since about two months ago we were just fighting a lot and it all came to blows at the company retreat, where we had a massive fight and he ended it.'

'I'm so sorry Penny, that must really suck for you.'

'Yes, they er… they don't put that in pregnancy books do they.' Penny smiled.

'Look, you were together for three years and your carrying his child, I reckon he's just blowing off some steam because you two were in a heated fight. He'll come back to you honey, don't worry.' Rachel said and Penny nodded at her.

'Could you excuse me for a second?' Penny asked before walking away from the table and making her way to the bar and out of sight of Simon and Rachel, 'One vodka, straight up.' Penny said to the barman and handing over the cash. She downed the drink and felt her nerves begin to calm slightly, 'Thanks.' She smiled before walking away, not noting the barman and the customer, who had been sitting at the bar, giving her surprised looks when they noticed her baby bump. Penny then resumed her seat next to Simon and Rachel.

'So I was discussing the birthing class with Rachel and I was just saying, maybe I should come with you instead of Sheldon?' Simon smiled and Rachel eagerly nodded her head. Penny blinked at both of them. If Simon touched her stomach and held her from behind for a long period of time, he would know then and there it wasn't real.

'With all due respect Simon… Rachel, I want my first birthing class to be with the baby's father. He only lives across the hall from me and even if we aren't together, I know he'll still come. Unfortunately he's in Texas at the moment visiting his mother.' Penny said, thanking God that she had had that vodka.

'Alright, that's understandable. Let me know when you're coming along.' Rachel smiled and Simon nodded, feeling slightly disappointed. The business meeting ended soon after that and whilst walking back to his Bentley, Simon took a hold of Penny's hand.

'Why are you holding my hand?' she asked.

'I don't know… I just felt like it I guess. Also, Penny, I was really proud of you today. I was really impressed with how you handled Rachel back there and…' Simon's phone rang and he answered it. After a few minutes of conversation, he looked at Penny and hugged her, 'That was Rachel… she's accepted our offer! So that only justifies my decision more.'

'Really? That's great… wait… what decision?'

'I don't want you to be my stand in secretary, or Burkett's either. I want you to come and work at my publishing company as an associate editor of our new maternity division. You did really well today and you have a knack for it.'

'Simon, I can't accept that… I.'

'Penny, you can't tell me you enjoy working for my father. Look, you'll get a massive pay rise… it'll be double of what you're earning now.'

'Double?'

'Yes… and you'll be doing a job that you have a natural talent for.'

'I always wanted to go into acting… that's why I moved out here.'

'Penny, you honestly want to be a secretary until you might get your big break. You'll be earning around $37,000 annually if you come and work for me, or rather with me and you'll have your own office and your own secretary.'

Penny looked at Simon, at a loss for words before shrugging and nodding, 'Ok, ok… thank you!' she grinned and she went to hug him, however she was met with his lips crashing onto hers. When they pulled apart, she looked at him, with a loss for words. 'Oh…' she whispered before letting him move in for another kiss and returning it.

**So Simon has made his move! I hope you liked it, so shoot me a review and let me know what you thought! Have a nice day xx**


	17. Chapter 17

Penny was on cloud 9 as she lay on her bed, reliving her kiss with Simon. As wonderful as it was, there was something at the back of her mind that made her remember Sheldon's kiss and if she was being honest with herself, Sheldon was far better. There was a knock on the door and frowning, she went to answer it.

'Anna? What are you doing here?' she asked, surprised to see her friend standing there.

'Is it true?' Anna said, walking in and slamming the door behind her.

'Is what true?'

'Are you going to be an associate editor at Simon's publishing company after snogging the face off of him? Cause that's what everyone at the office is saying.'

'How did you find out?' Penny asked quietly.

'Hilda saw you.' Anna said, chewing her lip angrily and folding her arms.

'OK fine… I'm going to become an associate editor but I wasn't snogging his face off… it was two kisses. Short and sweet,' Penny cried.

'Wow Penny… just wow. I mean what the fuck were you thinking? Oh and look you're still pregnant.' Anna scoffed, looking at Penny's stomach, 'I thought you were my friend but obviously not.'

'Hey look! I got that job because I proved to Simon that I was good when I accompanied him to a business meeting to secure a pregnancy book.'

'No! You got that job because he fancies you. And… if you weren't "pregnant" he wouldn't have ever brought you along and you wouldn't of been offered the job.'

'You're jealous aren't you? That I'm going off to do bigger things and your stuck fucking James Richie and filing his paperwork.' Penny spat.

'Jealous? Honey… don't flatter yourself. What are you gonna do when old lover boy finds out that Sheldon Jr is just made of polystyrene.'

'He's not going to because I'm planning on losing the baby in the next few weeks.'

'Suuuuure, you said that two weeks ago and won't it look a tad suspicious?'

'Look, Anna I don't want to fight with you.'

'And I don't want to fight with you but it makes me angry that you're lying and cheating your way up whilst hurting people along the way.'

'Hey look, I tried to contact Sheldon… I was on the phone for over 7 hours yesterday just trying to talk to him and he refused to pick up.' Penny sighed and flopped down on the sofa. 'I wasn't expecting Simon to kiss me, I didn't initiate anything, all I did was take the job. I went to hug him and he kissed me and I let him do it again. I really like him Anna, and I know you're saying that Sheldon likes me too but I just… I don't see how I could have a relationship with him. He finds any form of physical intimacy repulsive.' Penny sighed and Anna looked at her friend before softening.

'Ok, I believe you.' Anna said, 'so, how are you going to get rid of your fake pregnancy.'

'Well, what I was thinking was that I'm going to wait until I'm supposedly six months pregnant but I'm going to keep the five month stomach. Then, when I go for the scan, the nurse is going to be concerned that my bump is too small for what it should be at six months and they're going to tell me that the foetus has died and they're going to have to induce labour. That way, it's not suspicious, I get time off of work, Sheldon doesn't get blamed and it all goes back to normal.' Penny sighed.

'Where'd you get this idea?'

'Off an episode of some hospital show.' Penny shrugged as Anna sat beside her, 'Anna I'm really sorry. I've been a massive dick to you and to Sheldon… I can't do this alone. I need you and I was thinking… with this new job, I'm going to need a new secretary.'

Anna looked at Penny and shook her head, 'I don't know Penny… I'll have to think about it. I'm still mad at you.' Penny nodded her head in defeat and an awkward silence fell over them and Anna looked at her friend, 'Do you really like Simon? Honestly?'

'Yes, I do and I really think he likes me. I know I've been a bitch to you and Sheldon but I don't think you have the right to tell me who I can date babe.' Penny said.

'I just don't want you to get hurt hun. Simon is your classic douche and he makes my hair stand up on end… there's just something not right about him and you were breaking your cover by flirting with him so much. You were supposed to be deeply in love with Sheldon, not Simon. I was just trying to look out for you.'

'I know, but when this pregnancy is over, I'm going to go out with Simon, ok?'

'Hmmm fine, but I reserve the right to say I told you so should something bad occur. But make sure you make him know that only after the pregnancy is over that you'll go out with him.'

'Alright,' Penny said, a smile forming on her face as Anna stood up and looked around Penny's flat.

'So, um as your new secretary, I'd better be getting some awesome perks.' Anna smiled and Penny jumped up and hugged her friend.

'Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you!' Penny cried.

'Don't sweat, let's just move on with life… draw a line under it and make sure we straighten everything out asap. Now let's start by calling up Simon and keeping your affections at bay until you are free to put them to use.'

* * *

Simon sighed as he sat in his bachelor pad desperately trying to come up with the words to say to Burkett. He knew he wasn't supposed to fall for Penny but he had and that was why he had to put an end to his spying on her. She was so beautiful, feisty and witty; she also had this glow about her, perhaps it just came with being pregnant. Picking up the phone, he dialled Burkett's number and sat on his sofa waiting anxiously for him to pick up.

'_Ah Simon, I've been awaiting your call. Have you anything to report?' _

'Yeah, um about that… I don't want to do this anymore.'

'_What?'_

'I can't do this to Penny. I've done what you said and after analysing the evidence, I can only conclude that she is pregnant. Her bump has grown, she…'

'_You fancy her don't you.'_

'No! I mean, well… she's a nice girl.'

'_Look Simon, bed her… get it out your system, then get back to your job so I can get rid of her. You were supposed to make her fall for you, not the other way around.' _

'She's a lovely young woman and there is no need for you to get rid of her anymore sir, I've hired her as an associate editor for my company. Our working relationship ends here Mr Burkett, that's all.'

'_So what are you going to tell her then Yates? Because if you bail out on me now, I will tell her of your actions.'_

'And you think she'll believe you?' Simon scoffed.

'_Well, when she sees the CCTV and audio tapes.'_

'Audio tapes?'

'_I record every conversation for my own safety. Helps when your niece works for the FBI.'_

'Look sir, I've taken her off your hands now, let's just leave it now. We don't have to make this ugly, she's gone from your firm and that's what you wanted… the method of removal was never…'

'_I want proof that she's lying!'_

'And what if there is none! She's pregnant, a pregnant client of mine would have been able to tell if she wasn't and yet because of Penny, we are now publishing her book.'

'_Fine… but the second I sniff that she's been deceptive, I will hold you responsible.'_ Simon cringed as he heard Burkett slam the phone down on the other end of the line. Not two minutes passed before his phone rang again.

'Hello?'

'_Hey Simon, it's Penny.' _

'Oh hey you.' A smile formed on his face as he spoke to her.

'_I was thinking about that kiss…'_

'As was I… I can't get you out of my mind; I keep feeling your soft cherry lips over and over again.' Simon grinned and there was a pause on the line.

'_Simon, I really like you… I do but I think… it's too soon. I've just broken up with my fiancé of three years and I'm carrying his baby… I think I just need some time.'_

'Oh… ok. Wow… feeling like a bit of a fool here.' Simon laughed nervously.

'_Oh please don't Simon; I'm not rejecting you… I just need a bit of time to readjust to the single life.' _

'I know… I understand.'

'_And when I'm back on my feet, and maybe when I've pushed this baby out of me, we can give it another go.' _

'Won't Sheldon mind me being there?'

'_I don't know.'_

'And what if he wants another shot with you.'

'_Just because he may want one with me, doesn't mean I want one with him. I'm glad to be free of him for a bit, this break came at a good time. Sometimes people, parents… they're just better off apart.' _

'Hmm, maybe well, I guess then I'll see you in the office Monday to start as my new associate editor. I'll mail you a copy of the book so you can begin to make notes.'

'_Cool. Also I've chosen Anna as my secretary, is that ok?'_

'Well, I think it's nice you two have made up so why not. See you Monday beautiful.' Simon grinned before putting down the phone. He'd have to work on his charm, he wanted Penny now, not in four months when she'd have no time due to a crying baby. He wanted to be with her now.

**Hmm, what did you think of the chapter my lovely reviewers? not a lot going on but I've Sheldon returning in the next chapter ;] So, let me know what you thought! Have a nice day! xxx**


	18. Chapter 18

Sheldon walked into his apartment and set his bags down in his room and looked around. There was something different about it. Someone had been inside his room and… 'My comic books!' Sheldon suddenly cried out. If his mint comic books had been defiled in anyway or they had been removed from their film without the protecting hand gear or even worse, if any had been stolen during his absence, his life might as well have been over. Thank goodness he had a cross referencing system and thankfully they were all print free and none were missing.

'Sheldon? When did you get back?' Leonard said, stopping as he walked past his room.

'Moments ago, if I didn't have to go back to work, I would've stayed a little longer.' Sheldon shrugged and Leonard nodded.

'Fairplay, I guess I'll go tell Penny you're here, she's been waiting your return anxiously.'

'No Leonard. I am not in the mood for Penny at this precise moment in time… I think I'd rather engage in coital relations than conversation with her.' Sheldon shuddered and Leonard's jaw dropped.

'That bad?'

'Yes actually. As much I don't want to admit it, I do in fact…' Sheldon took a deep breath, 'have feelings. And she insulted Iron Man. That's unacceptable.'

'Sheldon, you're gonna have to face her eventually, now either you pull yourself together and go over there or I will personally kick your butt through the door.'

Sheldon stared at Leonard. Leonard stared at Sheldon. Their eyes locked in a dominance war, however, Leonard got the better and Sheldon had to blink. 'Oh darn,' Sheldon sighed, 'I don't want to go over there though Leonard.'

'Right, well then I shall inform her that you're here.' Leonard rolled his eyes and flipped his phone out.

'If you think I'm gonna let you walk out that door and tell her that I have returned you are much mistaken. I am Sheldor of Azeroth and I will use my power to turn you into a pathetic little Murloc!'

'Yeah, it's called text Sheldon. Do what you want, I hardly play World of Warcraft now… I have much better things to do y'know like getting laid. And regularly too might I add… perks of having a girlfriend. You should try it sometimes.'

'And exchange bodily fluids… no thanks.' Sheldon grimaced, at the same time mentally punching himself for not thinking of texting.

'Look, just talk it out with her dude, I think she's had a bit of a wake up call. Amy managed to talk some sense into her.' Sheldon sighed and looked at Leonard as he spoke, 'Come on Sheldon just…' He was interrupted by erratic knocking on the door.

'_Sheldon! Sheldon! Open up! I'm not leaving until you open up! Sheldon! Sheldon! Sheldon! Sheldon! Sheldon!'_

Sheldon groaned and stalked past Leonard before forcefully opening the door. 'What do you want Penny. Unlike some people, I have to work hard in an extremely difficult profession.' He spat.

'Sheldon please, can we just talk… please.'

'Talk then.'

'Well not out here… come back to my apartment… please.' Penny whispered and, albeit very reluctantly, Sheldon agreed.

'What do you want?' he asked as soon as the door to Penny's apartment shut behind him.

'I want to apologise to you. I was unfair, unkind and out of order and I've missed you so much. I tried to call you a number of times but it always went to your new answerphone and well hearing your answering message, it hurt to hear that you didn't want to speak to me.' Penny said, sitting down and looking at him with puppy dog eyes. Sheldon scoffed at her weak apology. Once again it was all about her and she didn't understand the real reason why he left and that annoyed him.

'Somewhere out there, there is a tree. It is tirelessly producing oxygen so you can breath and I think you owe it an apology.' He spat, 'It'll be more receptive to you than I.' Sheldon made a move to turn but Penny stopped him by literally tackling him to the ground.

'No! You will hear my apology if it takes me all day!'

'Penny! Get off me!' Sheldon growled, rolling around with her on the floor until he had flipped their position and he was now pinning her down instead of the other way around.

'Wow, you're surprisingly strong.'

'And you're surprisingly stupid.'

'Sheldon!'

'Oh I'm sorry, did I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid? I really thought you already knew.' Sheldon smirked, getting satisfaction of getting his own back on Penny. 'Hurts doesn't it? It hurts when someone you lov-like mocks you and points out your flaws.' Sheldon abruptly got off her and left her on the floor. Penny didn't move but instead found that the only thing she could do was try to stop herself from crying. Sheldon had never behaved like this before, it was totally out of character for him and thinking about it only made her cry more. Penny continued to lie on the floor and just cry as she heard the door slam shut. Her mother had always taught her not to play with fire, and once again Penny hadn't listened and she had been burnt.

* * *

Anna walked into Penny's apartment block and dreaded the thought that she was about to make the long trek up the stairs, sighing and grimacing at the thought of it.

'Hello Anna.'

'Hi Sheldon,' she said, walking past him as he was picking up his mail and starting up the stairs.

Anna blinked as she realised that she had just said hello to Sheldon. She walked back down the stairs, to make sure that she hadn't hallucinated and sure enough, there he was. Standing right in front of the letter box, sorting out his mail 'Sheldon?' she walked up to him, 'You're actually here… wow, have you spoken to Penny yet.'

'Yes.' He said, 'It didn't end well.'

'How do you mean?'

Sheldon sighed and looked up from reading his mail, 'She tried to apologise to me and I refused to accept her feeble attempts.' He said flippantly.

'Sheldon, you… you arse!' Anna said, flaring her nostrils.

'I fail to see how I am a human posterior.' Sheldon shrugged.

'Penny has been driving herself mad trying to get in contact with you and when she finally succeeds, you just refused to accept her apology. I know she was a bitch to you but you've got to be an adult and get past it.'

'With no offence intended Anna, problems between Penny and me aren't really any of your business.'

'She's my best friend Sheldon and I know you love her.'

'I don't love her,' Sheldon scoffed, his voice full of denial. Anna smirked at his pathetic attempt to lie to her.

'If you didn't love her, you wouldn't be acting this way.'

'So what if I did love her, she wouldn't return my affections.' Sheldon sulked, looking back down and trying to read his mail again, 'she's far too into Simon to notice me.'

'Actually, she's told Simon to back off.' Anna white lied. She had decided that if she could get Penny and Sheldon close again, without the interference of Simon, they would stand a better chance of realising their affections for one another. Sheldon had now looked at her with interest.

'She has?'

'Yes and I think that you should get up there and have another go at speaking to her. I'll wait in your apartment until you're finished.' Anna smiled and together they began to walk up the stairs until Sheldon found himself standing outside Penny's apartment. He raised his fist and knocked on the door thrice.

'Penny.' He said, before repeating the action another two times. He waited for a couple of seconds before the door opened to reveal a tear stained Penny.

'Hey,' she croaked.

'May I come in?' Sheldon asked and she nodded, stepping aside so he could enter. Sheldon grimaced at the untidiness of her apartment but sat down in his spot anyway. 'I have reason to believe that my actions earlier were deemed unkind and childish and I have come to apologise to you for it.'

'It's ok,' Penny said softly, pouring herself a cup of coffee.

'And I'm also here because I think we need to have that talk now.'

**Thanks for reading everyone, just want to say that this is still a Shenny fic, I'm just taking my time in getting there cause I don't think Sheldon is the romantic type at all and is completely opposite to Penny so he's gonna take longer to ease into it. Whilst he may be in love, he certainly wouldn't know how to act on it. I hope you enjoyed it and let me know what you think! xx**


	19. Chapter 19

'I can't hear anything!' Leonard hissed to Anna as they pressed their ears to Penny's door.

'Shh! Neither can I over you talking.' Anna hissed back.

'They've been talking now for over an hour!'

'Shh!' Anna concentrated and jumped when the doorknob turned, 'Shit! They're opening the door!' Anna whispered and she threw Leonard back against the wall and pressed her lips to his. Leonard's eyes widened as the attractive blonde kissed him. Closing his eyes, he wrapped his arms around Anna and returned the kiss, all thoughts of his missus gone out the window.

'Ahem.' Sheldon cleared his throat. Anna broke the kiss from Leonard and turned around.

'Oh hey guys, sorry… totally didn't see you there.'

'You can cut the act guys, we know you were listening in,' Penny chuckled and Anna sighed in defeat.

'How?'

'We could hear Leonard talking and you two shuffling.'

'You idiot.' Anna shot at Leonard and he shrugged.

'At least they've made up and it's not like we heard anything anyway.' He said, still in a kind of daze. There was a couple of seconds of silence before Howard and Raj's voices were heard echoing as they walked up the stairs.

'So you going to tell me what I missed out on last night?' they heard Raj say.

'Fine… but promise you won't laugh.' They heard Howard reply, 'Well the boys from the lab and I, we had a party at my house whilst my Mom was at the salon having a fully body wax and scaring the living daylights out of the beauticians. Bernie is still away on business so it was a total lad's night. We decided to do a manly truth or dare game and it got late and we were drunk so… they dared me to run naked into my neighbour's yard whilst yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis".'

'Ahhh no way dude… did you do it?'

'Of course I did. I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. Least to say they weren't happy. Hey! You promised you wouldn't laugh!' Howard cried as they reached the top of the stairs.

'So, you scare little kids now too.' Penny said, stifling a giggle.

'Please tell me you didn't hear that.' Howard groaned and all of them, including Sheldon, started laughing. Raj whispered something into Howard's ear and he looked at him in annoyance, 'No, why don't you tell her yourself.' Raj shook his head and Howard sighed, 'Anna, Raj wants to compliment you on your beauty today.'

'Oh…' Anna smiled, 'thank you Raj.' She smiled at him and he went a deep crimson colour.

'Come on guys, let's go and start Halo.' Leonard laughed and he, Wolowitz and Koothrapali walked into apartment 4A whilst Anna smiled at Sheldon and Penny.

'So you two all sorted?' she asked and they both looked at each other.

'We're on our way to recovery…I think we still have a few more things to talk about but Sheldon suggested that we go out for dinner tomorrow after work and continue the conversation then.' Penny said and Sheldon nodded.

'Well, I guess my work here is done then.' Anna smiled and Penny nodded, thanking her friend before hugging Sheldon and going back into her apartment. Anna looked at Sheldon and pulled him down to the floor below.

'Anna, you know that I do not enjoy being man handled.'

'So you and Penny going on a date?' Anna grinned, ignoring his complaints.

'It's not a date. All I suggested was dinner to discuss our problems more as I was getting tired.' Sheldon said, confusion laced in his voice.

'When a man and a woman go out to dinner alone, it's a date Sheldon,'

'But… Penny and I aren't romantic. I suggested it just so we could diverge deeper into our problems. I read somewhere that it was good to talk about your problems in an open environment so neither party can cause a disturbance.'

'Well perhaps you should try and make it a little bit romantic, you know to help her realise her feelings for you.' Anna smiled and Sheldon gave her a look.

'Really? How would I do that? Penny's made it pretty obvious in the past she doesn't want a romantic relationship with me.'

'Well, you don't have to do anything major. You have to start somewhere so why not use the opportunity you have tomorrow. All you have to do is get her a present and that will set things off in motion.'

'A present? I hate gift giving though! The whole concept is…'

'Oh just do it Sheldon.' Anna said, cutting him off before he could rant further.

'Fine… what should I get her?'

'I don't know… maybe get her something that'll make her smell nice, especially if you get close to her.' Anna said and Sheldon smiled.

'I know… toothpaste.'

Anna blinked at Sheldon, 'No!' she cried, 'Something that's more personal and feminine.'

'Depilatory cream?'

'Flowers! You can't go wrong with flowers!' Anna cried out in exasperation.

'I can… I get hay fever!'

'Well then bring her something that you think she'd like. You've known her for six, seven years… you must have some idea what she'd like.'

'Hmmm ok…I'll think of something.'

* * *

Penny looked at herself in the mirror; she was going to miss looking pregnant so she'd have to make the last two weeks count. Sheldon's special knock came right at 7 on the dot and she took a deep breath before opening the door to him.

'Good evening, you look lovely and… pregnant.' Sheldon said, awkwardly smiling at her. During their chat yesterday she had revealed her plan on getting rid of the fake pregnancy and reluctantly he agreed to go with it. But he pushed those negative thoughts aside and concentrated on her for tonight she radiated beauty in a loose black dress and she had a beautiful smile laced across her lips as she looked at him with affection.

'Thank you Sheldon,' she smiled, happy that they were finally speaking again. That very long and deep talk had aired a fair few things and now she had time to work on them with him and it started with dinner. She was going to make him feel the centre of attention and she was not going to think of Simon at all. Tonight was about reacquainting with Sheldon. Looking at his hands, she noticed he was holding something 'Is that for me?' she asked. Sheldon looked at the present in his hands and nodded before giving it to her.

'Anna said I should get you something feminine and personal,' he said, eagerly awaiting her to open the gift.

'Ooo, I wonder what it is,' she said as she opened the packaging before pulling out a very long and thick woollen looking pair of socks that were extremely heavy, 'still wondering,' she added with a nervous laugh.

'They're surgical stockings,' Sheldon beamed with pride and she looked at him and nodded, 'They're Nepalese, hand woven and you can even strain yoghurt through them.'

Penny nodded and smiled, it was the thought that count, 'Thank you Sheldon, they're lovely… I won't wear them tonight though, they might ruin my outfit.'

'Oh ok, that's fine… shall we go then?'

'Yes, I'll just put these… surgical stockings… away and then we can go.' Penny said, walking into her room. She looked at the stockings and smiled at how Sheldony it was of him to give her a present like surgical stockings. She quickly returned to his company and together they went to a small little restaurant tucked away in the corner. Penny quickly realised that this was the restaurant that she had had her business meeting in with Simon and Rachel. She decided that she wouldn't mention it tonight because it was about Sheldon and no one else.

When they were seated, they recapped on everything they had said last night which included how Penny had made Sheldon feel when she had said that she had preferred Simon's company to his to how Sheldon's pickle incident had been humiliating and almost career damaging to Penny.

'I'm still really sorry Sheldon. I still feel terrible that I made you feel like Simon was more important to me than you, especially when you were supposed to be my fiancé! They all must have thought I was a cheater or something,' Penny apologised again and he nodded.

'It's ok Penny… really. To be honest I did a little bit of research and I think I know how we can put this matter behind us and create a story that will convince your colleagues on how we will get back together.' Sheldon said.

'Really?' Penny said, looking a little surprised. Sheldon nodded and took a deep breath.

'Yes, now first of all… you have to go to a pub which has everyone you know and work with in it. Then I march in and call you a slag.' Sheldon said and Penny just looked at him as if he had grown another head, 'At this point you then slap me across the face and tell me you don't want me in our child's life and that it's all over for us, no chance of reconciliation… each of us then spends the next couple of days talking to various friends who then all give us conflicting pieces of advice. I become an alcoholic and you have a baby scare and then eventually,' Sheldon looked at Penny very seriously and raised his finger to make his point even clearer, 'now this is absolutely vital… we both find a no nonsense fat woman called Pat who gives us a good talking to and brings us to our senses. And finally we have a romantic reconciliation in a small café or laundrette. What do you think?'

'Oh Sheldon,' Penny said, a smile creeping onto her face, 'You've been watching those soap operas on TV haven't you?'

'So what if I have, they give good advice on modern social interactions, which is extremely beneficial to me.'

'Sheldon, I'm afraid soaps don't give you good advice at all because it's not real. Life just isn't that simple.'

'Simple?' Sheldon let out a snort of derision, 'I thought that was an awful lot to get through in two episodes, especially when it wasn't Star Trek related.'

'Sheldon, we can't use a soap opera story line, as sweet as it was that you thought of that we…' Penny trailed off when she saw Simon enter the restaurant and walk up to one of the waiters, 'Oh shit!'

'We what Penny?'

'Er, Sheldon… please don't get angry but Simon just walked in.' Penny said, now hiding behind her menu. Sheldon frowned and turned around to see the waitress handing Simon a takeout bag.

'He's just getting some takeout food, he probably hasn't even noticed us.' Sheldon said, looking back at Penny, or rather her menu.

'He can't…'

'Look, I know Anna said that you told him to back off and if he causes trouble I will set him straight.' Sheldon said, 'He's not right for you anyway.' Penny lowered her menu and was about to say that she hadn't told Simon to back off when suddenly she saw Simon swiftly approach her table.

'Penny… what are you doing here with… Sheldon?' he asked and Penny could tell a fake smile off from everywhere.

'Um… Sheldon and I were just… talking.' Penny smiled.

'Really, I thought you two were separated.'

'Oh um…' Penny started, struggling to find a lie that wouldn't jeopardise any future relationship they might have.

'Penny and I are in the middle of a discussion about our relationship Mr Burkett and I would kindly ask that you leave us in peace.' Sheldon said, stepping in and Simon looked at Penny.

'You're getting back with him?' he asked, shocked and hurt. Penny could see the betrayal in his eyes but she knew what she had to do.

'He's the father to my baby.'

Simon looked at his feet and nodded, 'I see… well I wonder what good old Sheldon will say when you tell him that we made out twice the other day.'

Penny's eyes widened and darted towards Sheldon, who blinked. 'You kissed him? Twice? I thought you told him to back off!'

'Back off? She told me to wait until she had had her baby and then we would be together.' Simon scoffed. Penny looked at Sheldon, who looked extremely conflicted and she didn't know what he was going to do.

'Look Burkett. You may have kissed my fiancée twice but we were separated at the time and I can overlook that. Could I now kindly ask that you leave us in peace.' Sheldon said calmly and Penny's jaw dropped in shock.

'Very well.' Simon snarled before directing his glare to Penny, 'the only reason you are not going to be fired this very second is because you are the reason that Rachel Day wants us to publish her book. I would have fired your ass even if you are pregnant. You WILL go to baby classes with your _fiancé _and when all the contracts are signed, you can pack your stuff and leave my company.' Simon then turned around and began to walk off.

'You can't do that to me! I'm pregnant!' Penny cried and Simon rolled his eyes.

'Sluts like you don't deserve kids, I hope something goes wrong for you Penny because you're a little bitch that just strings men along and the only reason I gave you a job is because I thought you'd be a good fuck.' He yelled at her, desperate to hurt her feelings, 'And you know what else… I've been spying on you for Burkett to make sure you weren't lying about your bastard kid!

'Simon!' Penny gasped and Sheldon looked like he was a pressure cooker about to explode.

'Get the hell away from my fiancée!' he yelled, causing slight attention from other customers. Simon spat at a now very distressed Penny's feet before turning on his heel and beginning to walk away.

'Sheldon…'

'We'll talk about this later. In the meantime I think I have a solution that will end your pregnancy and will put that bully in a bad light.' Sheldon said, scooting closer in the booth to Penny. Taking the emergency water bottle he made Penny carry with her at all times, he opened it and leaked it onto the floor as he whispered in her ear. To a stranger it would look like he was whispering soothing words to her but in actual fact he was giving her instructions, 'Penny, I have just poured water onto the floor by your feet to give the illusion you've gone into labour. I want you to act like you've never acted before and start screaming in pain.'

Penny nodded and remembered all those episodes of ER and House and any movie that had women going into labour. She clutched her stomach and made herself cry before feigning pain.

'Ahhh! Ahhhh! She's coming… the baby's coming… no it's too early!Ahhh' she yelled. Sheldon jumped up as Simon turned around and watched in horror as Penny began to cry in pain. Sheldon swiftly surprised Penny by picking her up bridal style and beginning to walk out of the restaurant.

'Shouldn't you call an ambulance?' the waitress asked as a hapless Simon just stared in shock.

'No, it'll be quicker if I drive her.' Sheldon grunted, 'I'll pop in and pay the cheque tomorrow.' He then quickly recited his number to the waitress and carried Penny back to her car.

'Penny! I'm sorry!' they heard Simon yell as they turned the corner and the second that they were safe and away from prying eyes, they looked at each other and started laughing.

'It's done… it's finally done.' Penny grinned as she turned the engine on and turned the car around, after agreeing to book into a hotel for the evening should Simon try to visit. To both of them, it felt like a heavy weight had been lifted from their chests.

'Well, the pregnancy has gone but now you have to face the backlash of it.' Sheldon said.

'Sheldon, about Simon… nothing really happened and I've seen a side of him today that disgusts me. I had been trying to contact you when he found me alone in the mall and he took me to his business meeting which happened to be in that restaurant. When I helped him secure a book, he offered me a job as an editor and well when I said yes… he kissed me. I then phoned him up later and said that I wanted to wait until the baby had arrived before I had a new relationship.'

Sheldon looked at Penny and sighed, 'It's alright, it's not like you and I ever had an understanding of one another… I mean we never even drew up an agreement, so no wonder the whole thing went up in smoke.'

'We're ok now though aren't we?'

'For now,' Sheldon let out a rare smile and that was good enough for Penny. She knew she'd have to work hard to gain his trust again but tonight had been a good starting point and now the pregnancy was over, it might just be that little bit easier to move forward.

**Nice long chapter for you all! Hope you enjoyed it :] I tried to incorporate some laughs and drama so let me know what you think. Have a nice day xx**


	20. Chapter 20

Sheldon picked up the phone and looked at Penny, 'You're sure you want to do this? You can still come clean.'

'Sheldon, I'm so far in now I can't tell the truth. I'm pretty much fired anyway now that I've turned down Simon, so do it.' Penny bit her lip and held her breath as Sheldon pressed the call button on the phone. The next twenty seconds were agonising for Penny until finally hear Sheldon speak.

'Oh good afternoon, my name is Sheldon Cooper, I'm Penny Stevens' fiancé and I need to speak urgently with Mr Burkett.' Sheldon said, flicking his gaze to Penny before frowning as the woman on the other end of the line told him to try Burkett and Sons law firm as there was no Mr Burkett working at this publishing establishment, 'I don't understand miss, the head of your company is Simon Burkett is it not? Because that is who we were introduced to and who gave my fiancé a job as an associate editor. I see, well you put me through to Simon Yates then please. Thank you.' Sheldon said as the annoying music began to play that indicated he was on hold. Turning to Penny, he looked at her, 'Turns out your boss Simon isn't related to Mr Burkett at all, he's been lying to you all this time.'

'What.' Penny gasped, 'I thought he was lying when he said he was spying on me… you know to hurt me.'

'Well turns out he was telling the truth that time,' Sheldon sighed, 'Oh good afternoon Simon, it's Sheldon here.'

'How can I help you?' Simon said over the phone, his voice audibly strained.

'I would like to inform you that Penny will not be returning to work for the next few weeks.'

'I have her maternity leave down as for six months, not a few weeks and that is due to start in two months.'

'Well, you need to change that to bereavement leave.'

'Bereavement leave? Oh… I'm so sorry for your loss.'

'Well since you are the one who sent Penny into premature labour, I think you damn well should be. Our little girl was born at 2am this morning and she died at 4.26am. I hope you're happy with yourself!' Sheldon yelled before disconnecting the line and turning round, calmly facing Penny, 'I must say I am on fire with my acting skills at the moment… it'll come in handy when I perfect cyber DNA transmutation and become the first real cyborg superhero! No one will know… that this is me.'

Penny rolled her eyes and walked out of Sheldon's apartment. They had arrived back this morning and like Penny had suspected, Leonard had told them that Simon had called around looking for her. She had texted Anna last night and told her what happened and Anna commended Sheldon on his quick thinking.

'I feel like having sex,' she suddenly just blurted out and Sheldon almost spat out his drink whilst Leonard smiled.

'Penny, coital discussions are not permitted in this apartment!' Sheldon cried.

'Oh lay off Sheldon… I've gone without sex for…' Penny counted on her fingers, 'ten weeks now.'

'I suppose that is why you decided to come up with that pregnancy idea. Your intelligence thrives on your sexual satisfaction and since you were going without, your idiotic idea bloomed.' Penny looked at Sheldon and glared before getting up and leaving apartment 4A. He was so insufferable! Why did sex repulse him so much? It was so… wonderful and satisfying and it made her toes curl in pleasure. No wonder she was gagging for it! If she was being honest with herself, she had been so stressed with making sure her story was all up to date, that there were no cracks and that there was no way she could be caught out that she hadn't really had time to make sure she went to the salon regularly. She didn't really like waxing herself but it needed to be done so she headed out to the drug store and bought herself some wax. Unfortunately they were out of her usual brand so she bought a cold wax kit and hoped for the best.

Upon arrival back home, she headed to the site of her demise: the bathroom. 'God, I wish I'd booked myself into the salon,' she groaned to herself. It would have been far quicker and easier but she was experienced at this and it was about time she started getting back in the groove. Penny pulled one of the thin strips out and looked at it. To her annoyance, it was two strips facing each other and they were stuck together. 'Bloody drug store kits.' She mumbled to herself. Heating it up by rubbing them together would take time, so Penny dug out her hair dryer and heated the wax up. She then propped her foot up against the side of the bath and laying the strip across her thigh, she held the skin taught and pulled and to her delight, it worked. 'I'm a genius! I am the ultimate fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extroadinaire!' she giggled to herself before completing the rest of her legs. Then, it was time to face the ultimate hair fighting championship. Cursing the idea of puberty, Penny heated up the long wax strip and placed it across the right side of her bikini line all the way to the inside of her pert butt cheek. Penny took a deep breath, inhaled deeply and braced herself.

_RRRRRIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPP!_

Tears fell from Penny's eyes as she was blinded from the pain. 'OH MY GOD!' She yelled. As her vision returned, she looked down in horror as she realised that she'd only managed to pull off half the strip, 'Crap!' Penny hissed before taking another deep breath and ripping the remaining strip off. The pain was now far too much to bear and everything began to spinning to the point she feared she would pass out.

Penny took a deep breath the stay her breathing and after five minutes she looked down, wanting to see her trophy- a wax covered strip; the one that had caused her so much pain and had her stubbly pelt sticking to it. She wanted to revel in the glory that was her triumph over body hair. Holding up the strip her jaw dropped as it revealed that there was no hair on it all. Not one single hair.

'Fuck! Where is it!' she whispered to herself, 'where's the hair… fuck where's the flipping wax!' Slowly she eased her head down and her eyes widened as she saw the hair that should be on the strip. She slowly reached out and touched it, only to find her fingers coming into contact with the now cold wax and matted hair.

Penny huffed in annoyance and put her foot down before realising that that had been a very big mistake. It was sealed shut… her butt was sealed shut. Cursing an abundant amount of words, she waddled like a penguin around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and praying that she didn't have the urge to go the bathroom, otherwise she feared that her head might explode. Racking her brain, she tried to remember methods of how to melt wax. 'Hot water!' she thought aloud, 'if I run the hottest water I can stand into the tub, I can get in and immerse my wax covered bits and the wax should melt and then I can gently wipe it off! God I've been hanging too much around Sheldon.' Penny added and sighing, she quickly ran a hot bath and got in. The water was slightly hotter than what was used to sterilise surgical equipment in her opinion, but nevertheless, she sat down.

Penny tried to move to gain better access but found that she was now glued to the bottom of the tub… in scalding hot water, which definitely wasn't melting the wax, 'Damn it, I haven't been hanging around Sheldon enough!'

Penny scrambled for her phone and called Anna. She and Anna had been to the salon plenty of times, so it was only logical that Anna might have some secret on how to help her. Penny didn't even know where to begin as the phone rang. It was a great conversation starter 'So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!'

There was a slight pause on the phone and Penny waited with baited breath for Anna to speak.

'_I'm afraid I can't help you babe… I don't have any secret tricks_,' Penny could hear that she was trying to hide her laughter, '_So where are we talking? Cheeks, hole, hoo ha?_' She was laughing out loud now and Penny sighed, letting her have her laugh.

'Yeah yeah, get it out your system; point is what do I do?'

'_I dunno… maybe call the helpline number that they put on the side of the box?_'

'Yeah right! I'll find my story posted online everywhere within two second of me calling!' Penny yelled down the line. As she and Anna tried to come up with various solutions, she picked up her razor and tried to scrape it off with the blades, 'I tell you what Anna… nothing feels better than to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, struck to the tub in superhot water and then dry shaving the sticky wax off!' Penny said, trying to humour herself as well as Anna, 'I think my dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm gonna need some Post-Traumatic Stress counselling for this!'

'_Well, let's think about this… isn't there usually some sort of wipe thingie, you know a lotion sort of thing that they give you to remove the excess wax?'_

'What have I got to lose?' Penny sighed and she reached as far as she could and thankfully she managed to reach the box. Pulling out the lotion, she started by freeing her bottom from the clutches of her bath. 'Oh my god it worked!' Penny cried in delight as she stepped out the bath.

'_Well I'll leave you to it then… next time we'll go to the salon together ok.' _

'Yeah, I just thought if I was seen going to salon so soon after supposedly giving birth, it'd raise suspicion.'

'_Alright, well… I'll see you later hun… bye.'_

'Bye!' Penny then rubbed some of the lotion over the other areas of cold wax and matted hair and cried out in pain as it stung her skin but at this point, she didn't really care because it worked. She successfully managed to remove the remainder of the wax but to her despair, all of the hair was still there so she decided to just shave it off. 'Beauty is pain… beauty is pain… beauty is pain.' She chanted to herself over and over again before taking a shower and putting on her nightie. She was never buying a home kit again… ever!

_Knock knock knock_

'Penny.'

_Knock knock knock_

'Penny.'

_Knock knock knock_

'Penny.'

Penny sighed and answered the door to Sheldon, 'What's up buttercup?'

'I realise that I may have been wrong in linking your intelligence to your sexual satisfaction.'

'Really?' Penny said, the sarcasm just dripping from her voice.

'Yes and I apologise for it.'

Penny straightened with interest. Sheldon was not one for apologising, especially when it was something that he would not perceive as a major thing… like linking her intelligence and sex together.

'Well… thank you?'

'You're welcome.'

'Wait Sheldon, come on in for a minute.' Penny said stepping aside and Sheldon walked in and took a seat, 'Sheldon, I never really took the time to say thank you. You've done a lot for me. You've put your head on the line, risked a lot and you've helped me with things that no one else would have, so thank you.'

'You're welcome.' Sheldon said, a slight smile beginning to form on his cheeks and a comfortable silence filled the room.

'Can I ask you something?' she asked quietly after a few minutes and Sheldon looked at her and nodded, 'A few weeks ago, I saw that you had a tattoo… what does it symbolise?'

Sheldon looked at Penny and to her shock, he let out a chuckle, 'Do you want to see it?' he asked and she nodded. He removed his t-shirts for her and she inwardly ogled at his toned body. It wasn't too athletic and it wasn't skinny either… it was just right. He turned his back to her and she outlined the eagles wings as it flew in front of the full moon. It was fascinating being this close to a top naked Sheldon. She finally got to read the scroll that the eagle carried.

"_Elsie-Lou Gray 1922-2014"_

'Who's Elsie-Lou Gray?'

'That's my Meemaw's real name.'

'Really… it's a beautiful name and a beautiful tattoo… wait… you never told us that your meemaw passed.'

'It wasn't something I really wanted to publicise.' Sheldon said, turning around to face her.

'So why the eagle?' she said in a hushed whisper.

'Because the eagle… she's symbolises wisdom, freedom and power and that's what my meemaw was to me. She understood me in ways no one else could and the moon is heaven and that is where she is flying to.' Sheldon looked at Penny and she melted into his gaze, 'Meemaw taught me that I have to be intelligent, honest, brave and kind and that's what I'm trying to do now.' Sheldon whispered, staring right back at Penny, neither of them noticing the sun now setting as they spoke and the rays of light shining against them, illuminating their faces. Penny shuffled a little closer to Sheldon and didn't flinch when he slowly took her hand, 'Though… I'm still working on kind.' He said before slowly tilting his head and moving forwards, not removing his gaze from Penny. Penny's breath hitched in her throat and she let him gently graze her lips. She slowly closed her eyes and relaxed into the kiss. It was romantic and slow and it passed far too quickly for her liking. 'Good night Penny.' He whispered before quickly leaving the apartment and Penny in a haze.

**Hope you enjoyed it! Thanks so much for all your reviews aswell and I'm sorry about the wait. The waxing story wasn't my own idea I'm afraid to say. I came across it and it just made me laugh so I decided I wanted to add it to the story haha Let me know what you thought! xx**


	21. Chapter 21

Penny sat in shock, not quite believing that Sheldon had just kissed her. Getting up, she quickly ran out after him and managed to catch him before the door shut. 'Hey! You can't just kiss me and then run out on me.' She said, 'So…' she smiled at him, 'gonna explain to me what just happened back there?'

'I'm sorry, I don't follow.' Sheldon blinked at her and suddenly Penny noticed that Leonard had just walked in and was now standing in the kitchen, pouring himself a cup of coffee. Sighing, Penny pulled Sheldon back into her own apartment, 'owww, Penny! I don't like being man handled!'

'Ok, I'm sorry,' Penny said, dropping his arm. At least he was now in her apartment again and they could talk.

'Penny, I just said goodnight to you, we should all be getting ready to go to bed.'

'It's eight o'clock,' Penny said, raising an eyebrow, 'so don't beat about the bush… come on, spill. Why did you kiss me?'

Sheldon looked extremely uncomfortable but realised that she wouldn't let him go until he had given an explanation, 'I don't know… it's just seemed like the appropriate thing to do.' He shrugged and Penny frowned, not happy with his explanation.

'So… you didn't want to do it, it just followed social convention?' she asked and Sheldon nodded.

'I thought that would be obvious.'

'No, no… no it wasn't.' Penny said, feeling slightly bummed out. She had thought it had meant something to him but then again, this was Sheldon. She looked at him and thought; something didn't sit right with her about his story. Sheldon didn't kiss girls unless he had feelings for them, so his story on following social convention must have been a load of bull. Thinking hard, she thought of various ways of getting him to either tell the truth or just give in and kiss her again.

'Is there anything else you needed me for?' Sheldon asked, feeling like he had dodged a bullet by pulling the wool over Penny's eyes. He needed to talk to Anna about his kiss with Penny before anything else happened otherwise he might mess things up.

'No,' Penny smiled and suddenly a wicked thought came to mind, 'So I guess I'll say goodnight then.'

'Goodnight,' Sheldon smiled.

'Sweet dreams,' Penny said before leaning forward and pressing a quick soft kiss to his lips as if they had been doing it every night for the past year. She knew she'd have to take the initiative, otherwise it would never happen. When she pulled away, Sheldon looked at the beautiful blonde actress in front of him and he realised that he didn't need Anna's help. This was something he had to figure out for himself because it couldn't be taught. Amy had tried to teach him and failed but he realised that when he worked off his own instincts, things had turned out better.

'Um do you think you could um,' Sheldon swallowed his nerves and looked at Penny, 'would you mind if we could… do that again?' he asked and Penny looked at him, quite shocked that he had responded in such a way. She nodded and leant forward again, pressing another soft kiss to his lips. This time, when she pulled away, he looked at her and frowned.

'Was that… bad?' she asked and he twitched his nose before sitting down.

'It was weird.' He said and he took her hand and guided her so that she sat down beside him, 'Something isn't right though, aren't I the one who is supposed to be kissing you?'

'It works both ways sweetie,' Penny whispered, inwardly grinning to herself. She was finally getting him to come out of his shell.

'Ok, well let me try it this time,' Sheldon said and Penny nodded, closing her eyes as he kissed her. No sooner had he done that, he pulled away… unhappy with his performance, 'maybe if I close my eyes or tilt my head more?'

'Sheldon, honey… you're thinking about it too much. Go with your instinct, just like you did earlier and at the company retreat. Don't think about it… just act and do what you feel is right.' Penny whispered and he nodded and watched her as she closed her eyes and puckered her lips. Forgetting social convention and everything that seemed foreign to him, he concentrated on Penny and gently cupped her face before gently placing a soft hot kiss on each of her eyelids. When she let out a quiet, gentle moan, he took that as a good sign and moved his lips to hers before enveloping them in a very passionate kiss, surprising himself and Penny. 'Much better,' Penny added when they parted, trying to catch her breath before Sheldon kissed her again.

Sheldon couldn't help but feel extremely proud of himself as he kissed Penny. If someone had told him a year ago he would be making out with Penny on her couch, he would have laughed at the idea. But low and behold, here he was… on Penny's couch, kissing her. They pulled apart breathing deeply, 'So, what comes next?' he whispered against her, his hot breath giving her goosebumps.

'Depends, what do you want to happen next?' Penny grinned.

'Well, we've gone out for the meal, we've had the kiss… logically coitus is the next available option. So I'm thinking we should have coi-sex… if you want to.' Sheldon whispered and Penny smiled at him.

'Sheldon… not everything ends in sex you know and as much as I want to take you up on that offer… it wouldn't be right.'

'But… I find myself… liking you Penny. I like you a lot.'

'Really?,' she said, a large grin forming on her lips, 'Well, I think that I find myself liking you too,' Penny chuckled, looking at him before going to a more serious mode, 'but seriously, it would be wrong of me to have sex with you until you were 100% sure. What I think we should do is start a relationship Sheldon, and then build up to sex after a few dates or until you feel comfortable.'

'So you're saying that you and I should partake in a courtship ritual.'

'In so many words yes.'

'But it seems such an unnecessary and complicated precursor to the act of procreation. I've seen countless numbers of men come in and out of this apartment without going through a courtship ritual with you.'

'Sheldon,' Penny decided to ignore his insult, 'it might seem like that to you sweetie, but some people need those rituals.'

'Explain.'

'It's usually considered a good idea for two people to get to know each other further before they become… intimate.'

'Why is that?'

'Because it's more comfortable. You spend some time together, you laugh, you talk and that makes it easier for two people to get closer.'

'But the end result is the same is it not?'

'Well I guess so.'

'Then I fail to see what is accomplished by all the talk.' Sheldon shrugged and Penny sighed.

'Trust me on this one, you and I need to get to know each other in a more romantic sense before any coitus ensues.' Penny smiled before placing a kiss on his nose, 'now goodnight.' She grinned before getting up to see him out. Suddenly her phone rang and she grimaced when she saw Simon's name flash up on caller ID, 'It's Simon.'

Sheldon looked at her and gestured for the phone, 'Give it here.' He said and Penny obediently handed him her phone. Sheldon clicked the answer button and raised the phone to his ear, 'Penny doesn't want to talk right now Simon. I would appreciate it if you'd leave her alone. I don't care if you want to talk to her, right now she needs her rest and a stress free time. Look here Simon whatever your surname is… humans are deuterostomes. That means that when we develop in the womb the anus forms before any other opening. And that basically means that everybody has been an asshole at some point in their lives. Most people learn to control it but a small majority, like yourselves, are always going to remain assholes. Now, please respect our privacy and leave us alone.' Sheldon said before hanging up and handing the phone back to Penny, 'you're welcome.'

'Thanks.' She laughed before finally saying goodnight to Sheldon. As soon as the door shut, Penny couldn't help but give herself a pat on the back. She had managed to get Sheldon to kiss her and admit he liked her and strangely enough, she did in fact find herself liking him back. She wanted to take it slow though, rebuild what they had after that awful fight they had. This was a learning curve for her too and she wasn't going to blow it this time.

**Thanks for all your reviews so far, I'm really glad that you give me the honour of reading them. I hoped you liked this chapter, I felt I needed to give some proper Shenny to the story so voila. Let me know what you think :D xx**


	22. Chapter 22

Penny knocked on apartment 4A's door and bit back a smile as she thought again of her and Sheldon starting a relationship. After waiting a couple of seconds, she wondered why she was even waiting, she usually just walked in, so opening the door she casually strolled in. 'Heya guys...' she stopped short as she saw Sheldon and Leonard squabbling whilst Howard and Raj just sitting there and watching. 'What are they fighting over?' she asked, sitting down next to Howard.

'Siam Palace released a limited edition special whilst the owner's mother is in town for the week as she is the one cooking them. Turns out though that she arrived last Tuesday and she's leaving for Bangkok again tomorrow. And because Monday is Thai food night, tonight is the only night we can get it otherwise Sheldon's routine is out of sync. There's one bit left and both Leonard and Sheldon want it.'

'And Sheldon doesn't share food,' Penny sighed nodding her head and understanding the problem.

'Yup. Ours was the last order they took. But you have to admit that this is seriously funny.' Raj laughed, taking another swig of beer.

'Enough of this!' Sheldon yelled suddenly grabbing everyone's attention, 'Leonard, I challenge you… to Chang Ching!' Both Raj and Howard gasped and even Leonard looked shocked, leaving Penny confused and thinking what the hell Chang Ching was.

'Chang Ching? Sheldon are you crazy!' Howard cried, jumping up and running over to the pair, 'it's banned in twenty nerd rule books! And it could seriously damage your health if you're not careful!' Howard cried and Raj snickered.

'Is that a bad thing?' Raj muttered under his breath.

'I accept!' Leonard said suddenly and Howard looked at him with even wider eyes.

'And you're even crazier for accepting!'

'He had no choice,' Sheldon said, smiling deviously, 'if you don't accept the ancient challenge of the gifted gamers, you are banned from fourty different broadband providers… Worldwide.'

'Fine, let us begin. I shall be the mediator for the challenge.' Howard sighed and Penny gasped.

'Be careful guys, don't do anything stupid!' she cried and she shuffled over so she sat beside Raj.

'Oh ancient spirits of the nerds, of our forefathers, let us gather here to this place of combat and LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!' Both Sheldon and Leonard looked in annoyance at Howard and he shrugged, 'I thought it needed a bit of pepping up. If we're gonna have an illegal match, we might as well do it the proper way… ok then boys, here we go. Are you ready? Round 1. On the count of three. One… two…' Penny squealed and closed her eyes, hiding them beneath her perfectly manicured hands, 'THREE!' She heard Sheldon and Leonard shuffle but there was no sound of pain like she had predicted, 'Ok, Sheldon went for paper and Leonard went for scissors.'

Penny opened her eyes and blinked at Sheldon and Leonard before standing up and walking over to Howard. 'They're…playing rock paper scissors.' Penny blinked again, just to make sure she wasn't seeing things, 'Is that it? I've seen more dangerous confrontations on Deal or No Deal.'

'Penny, this is Chang Ching, not rock paper scissors. As I explained before, rock paper scissors has a limited number of outcomes, hence the creation and use of rock paper scissors lizard Spock. Chang Ching is an ancient combat contest between two gamers, like myself and more or less for Leonard. Now, back to the battle field!' Sheldon cried.

'Ok, round 2! One… two… three!' Howard said and again both Sheldon and Leonard pulled their moves, 'Sheldon plays paper, Leonard plays rock. That's the equaliser. Right now for the last and final round… winner takes all. Are you ready?'

'Bring it Hofstadter.' Sheldon smirked and Leonard scoffed.

'Oh it's on Cooper.'

'Ok, last time… one… two… three!'

Sheldon pulled out rock and Leonard pulled out scissors. 'YES! I WIN!' Sheldon cried, jumping up and down, 'suck on that Leonard the loser! I am the winner of Chang Ching!' Sheldon grinned. Penny clapped her hands in delight and ran over to Sheldon.

'Congratulations Sheldon!' she cried, kissing his cheek and grinning at him, 'So what were y'all chang chinging over again?' she asked, biting down into a bit of left over thai food that had been lying in a dish.

'The last dumpling from the special order.' Leonard groaned, flopping down in his seat and Penny froze whilst Sheldon turned around to claim his prize.

'Where is it?' Sheldon cried before looking horror at Penny, who had realised that she was holding the dumpling in her fingers and she had taken a bite out of it. 'You ate it! You ATE it!' Sheldon cried, 'I just took part in an extremely dangerous and unethical form of combat and you are eating my prize.'

'Hun, I only had a bite… here have the rest.'

'No, it's contaminated with your saliva and your germs!'

'Sweetie, you were contaminated with my saliva and germs three days ago,' Penny whispered in his ear and Sheldon realised that it was true.

'Of course, you make a valid point.' Sheldon said and grinning, Penny fed Sheldon the rest of the dumpling.

'Ugh, pass the sick bag.' Howard groaned and Sheldon glared at him.

'Can it Wolowitz.'

They were all interrupted by a sudden knock at the door and without a second thought, Penny went to answer it. 'Hi there, I'm detective Sophie Craig and this is detective Tony Mason. We're looking for Penny Stevens.'

'Um, yeah, that's me… how can I help you officers?' she asked, her heart starting to race.

'May we come in?'

'Um, sure but maybe it's better if we go to my apartment.' Penny said, slipping out of 4A and not seeing the faces of the four men she left behind her, who were now gawking, 'This is my fiancée's apartment.' She let out a nervous laugh before letting the officers in and letting them sit down.

'Miss Stevens, we have come to inform you that your former employer has made an allegation that you falsified a pregnancy in order to keep your job. He claims that you gave birth a few days ago and upon speaking with the hospital, we have discovered that there are no records of you ever having any scans or even giving birth.'

'Um…' Penny whispered but the female detective cut her off.

'Faking a pregnancy in the work place is a criminal offence as it is fraudulent behaviour. I must warn you Miss Stevens, if you and your fiancé are found guilty, you could be facing a mandatory sentence of at least a year.'

'Mandatory sentence?' she squeaked.

'Yes and I'm afraid we're going to have to take you downtown for questioning. We're not arresting you; we just want to have a chat.' She said softly, as if she was making sure that just incase Penny had been pregnant and lost a baby, she would be handling it with care.

'Ok, can I get my jacket please?' Penny asked quietly and the two officers nodded and waited whilst Penny grabbed a jacket from her bedroom and slipped Sheldon's meemaw's ring on her finger. Taking a deep breath, she decided that if she came clean now, perhaps it would be better than lying and with that she walked out to face the music. She was in deep shit now and she prayed that things would come out in her favour.

**Thanks for waiting for the update everyone, I hope you enjoyed it! Thanks for all your reviews so far, so let me know what you think and put a smile on my face when I get to read them :] Have a nice day! xx**


	23. Chapter 23

Penny felt sick and she was praying that nothing would come of this altercation with the law. She had already texted Anna on the journey to the station, who had told her to remain calm and not to panic. Upon arrival to the station, she was put in the apparently new soft interview room. The female detective sat her down and gave her a cup of coffee. 'Alright Miss Stevens, all we're going to do now is just ask you a few questions.' She said softly and Penny nodded, trying to remain calm. The soft interview room was painted a soft yellow colour and she guessed it was for informal interviews and for people who were more vulnerable so they didn't feel like they were under arrest or anything, 'Now, first off I'd like you to tell me your version of events in regards to your pregnancy and your fiancé.'

Penny took a sip of coffee to calm her down and took a deep breath and sighed. She didn't want to go to jail and she didn't want to drop Sheldon in it and neither did she want to lie, so she went with her gut: an amalgamation of the two alongside the performance of her life. 'Um, I first found out that I was pregnant when I was around a month and half gone,' she said softly, 'unfortunately I lost the baby quite early on but I had already told Sheldon I was pregnant. He… he was so happy he was going to be a father that I didn't have the heart to tell him I had miscarried,' Penny sniffed, 'So I never told him and after that our sex life stopped because I didn't want him to see me naked because… he'd know.' She dropped her voice to a whisper and looked at her hands, twiddling the ring around her finger. She had watched enough CSI and police dramas to know they monitored things like body language, so she had to be extremely clever and cautious. Taking a deep inhalation, she looked at the officer, her eyes glazed with tears, 'I worked for Burkett and Sons Law firm and my boss was truly awful. He'd make me give up my non contracted days to take his cat to the vet. He once made me wash Mrs Jarvis three times within four hours of each other. One day, she accidently ate some of the soap and was sick over him and he tried to fire me.'

'He tried to fire you because his cat ate soap?' detective Craig asked and Penny nodded.

'I didn't want to lose my job because I was low on money and I didn't want to sponge off my fiancé. He makes a good amount of money and if he knew I was in financial trouble, he'd give me money just like that. So, when Mr Burkett told me I was fired, I said the first thing that came to mind: that I was still pregnant.' Penny buried her head in her arms, tears spilling down her cheeks as she thought of things that made her cry. 'He… he couldn't fire me if I was pregnant and I knew it was wrong of me to lie but the damage had been done. It soon started to get out of hand because now I had my boss on my case, as well as deceiving my fiancé into thinking I was still pregnant. So I got myself a fake pregnancy stomach and put it on when I would have been four months pregnant. Simon Yates, who I recently found out was pretending to be the son of Mr Burkett to try and expose my lie, offered me a job after I managed to secure him an author for his publishing company. It was no secret that he was sexually attracted to me and I hate to say it, but I was sexually attracted to him too because I couldn't face telling my own partner the truth in case he left me. That resulted in a lot of tension and arguments and then Sheldon, my fiancé, and I split for a week or so after one of the biggest arguments we have ever had. Simon made a move on me and I let him kiss me. When I later rebuffed him because I wanted to rekindle things with my fiancé, he got angry and fired me and called me an abundant of horrible names at a restaurant. So I took a bottle of water and poured it on the floor and pretended I had gone into labour.' Penny said, wiping away her tears, 'I just really loved the feeling of knowing I was pregnant and I think I began to think I was. I gave up smoking and alcohol, I followed pregnancy books and it made me a better person. I was good at my job, I was easier to get along with.'

Detective Craig had been writing notes as well as taping the interview on a small camera. 'And what did you tell your fiancé once you had faked labour?'

Penny shrugged, 'the truth. He was horrified of course but he understood why I did it and he didn't blame me. I thought he would have left me but he didn't and it felt like a burden had been lifted from my shoulders once he knew. And then he said that when we get married, we can try again.' Penny sniffed. 'But you've got to know, Sheldon didn't have anything to do with this…he's innocent.'

'Well thank you Miss Stevens. We may need to question your fiancé but you've given us a few leads for us to further our investigation. Interview terminated at 15.06.' DI Craig said and she turned off the camera. 'Penny, since the camera is off now I can be less formal with you. I can see that you've gone through a lot and I can personally relate to you honey. I lost a child as well and I know what it's like to feel pregnant, how great it is. I'm going to personally look into this case for you, especially on Simon Yates. I didn't realise that you had been pursued by him.'

'Yes, he wanted to start a relationship.' Penny sniffed, 'I guess I led him on a bit aswell but I had no intention of ever really being with him. I love Sheldon.'

'I can see that, actions speak louder than words,' Sophie smiled.

'So… does Simon being romantically linked with me change anything?'

'Although I can't make any promises, it does offer us a new line of investigation to follow. Mr Yates was the one who filed the allegation along with Mr Burkett's, who's followed shortly after. This could be a revenge thing because you rebuffed him and if it goes to court, there is a high chance it would be construed as revenge. And if I'm perfectly honest, now that we know that Burkett employed Yates to act as his son, he might think twice into pursuing this and if you're lucky, we'll get him to drop charges. I'll give you a call if and when we need to see you again.'

'Thank you.' Penny smiled, before getting up to leave.

'Er Miss Stevens,' Penny turned around to face the detective, 'this little conversation here never happened ok?'

'Yes ma'am.' Penny gave a weak smile as another officer opened the door for her. Penny then walked out and immediately went home to corroborate with Sheldon. That way if the police did interview him, he'd be on the same page as her.

**Hope you enjoyed the chapter! Let me know what you think and thanks for all your positive reviews :] they really make my day xx**


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